What’s up with the September issue of Racer X already being available? It’s only July. Is somebody’s calendar off?
We operate on the Peruvian Orb calendar here at Racer X. The days are slightly longer, there are no weekends and we don’t believe in the concept of accrued vacation. This allows us to jump ahead of our competition as they slip off into a booze-induced coma at the Hawaiian island destination of their choosing every summer. We don’t partake in rum-soaked lava flow drinks adorned in fruit like they do, but that’s okay… we make up for it in a quality product and a timely production schedule. I mean, who wants to relax by the beach when you can be knocking out emails at your computer? Who needs Coronas with lime when you can be IN Corona doing an interview for Racer X Online? We put the customer first so that you can know what’s going in September when it’s still only July. And for that I will make no apology. I will only say you are welcome. Now, I wonder if Steve Matthes can sneak me into his carry-on bags when he takes his trip to Maui next month?
I have this friend who is a financial advisor. He gave up his career because of being "burned out" at age 35. His new career is a stay at home dad watching his 2 youngin's (his words not mine) while his poor wife slaves away. I have no problem with this. However, I can see a little Tony Alessi in him now that he's a full-time homemaker trying to regain his masculinity. You know what I mean: pushing his kids to do crazy jumps, early morning calisthenics, throwing them in the deep end of the pool to toughen them up. Couple of questions… Should I just sit back and enjoy the show? Should we have an intervention? Could you get him a job with Troy or Davey? Have you been burned out to the point of asking your bride to bring home the bacon? Thanks in advance for your wise counsel.
It sounds to me like your bro is a financial wizard and a genius. Let me see if I have the facts straight: His wife makes the money and he gets to hang out with his kids all day, ride, swim and exercise with them? That is a clever man. I know you want to belittle him for making his wife work while he spends her hard-earned money out playing with his kids. That was my gut reaction as well. But I’m seeing things more clearly now than ever, man. I am putting my wife to work and following in your buddy’s footsteps. Maybe I’ll even get some unemployment cash coming in for a little spending money. Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
I've noticed you have a thing about Biker Sherlock in a bad way. Just wanted you know that Biker reads Racer X. Yeah, they're my old ones. But he reads them just the same. Especially the ones that talk smack
about him. OK, so I point them out to him. Makes me the good guy! He rides a KTM 525 in the desert, has a CRF450 super moto and is about to get a couple new YZ450s. Just trying to keep the peace.
Well, now I feel bad. I might have made a few jokes at Biker Sherlock’s expense in the past but I really have nothing against the guy. It’s just that he is the poster boy for one of the world’s lamest sports ever created. Ever. Street luge and rollerblading are cousins in the sport world and both have been equally shamed by the action sports community. The unfortunate part is that Biker had such a unique name that there’s no way anyone will ever forget it. If his name were Barney Johnson he could have slipped into obscurity unnoticed. It’s kind of like that Takeru Kobayashi guy that eats all the hot dogs every year. I saw a news clip of him taking down a plate full of Nathan’s hot dogs once out at Coney Island and there’s no way I’ll ever forget that name now. Anyway, that is cool that Biker rides and the next time you see him tell him that I didn’t mean to insult him. It’s just that, well, you know… he was a street luger. If it makes him feel any better I used to be quite good at roller blading. I haven’t thrown on the fruit-boots in years but they sit patiently in one of my garage cabinets just waiting for extreme rollerblading to make a comeback. Someday.
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