Ask Ping!

Ping,
Some subjects may seem petty or trivial, but I cannot seem to let this one go. I even tried Lunesta to keep from thinking about this, but the drug's high price is keeping me up at night. Here it is: James Stewart did invent the scrub… Jo Jo Keller did not. What Jo Jo is doing is a cross up. I did many of these in the late ‘70's. Why is it a cross up? His wheel is pointing up, not down. I would bet anything a left turn was right after that jump in that famous picture of him. When you scrub you point the wheel down to keep the inertia going downward. The Jo Jo picture is not the first scrub caught on film, it is just a very cool cross up. I respect your opinion very much. If you disagree with me I will let this go…maybe.
Joe Mangiameli
Omaha, NE

Dear Joe,
You know, I didn’t give it much thought when they said that JoJo’s jump was the first scrub, but you are exactly right; he is just doing a cool cross up. The intention of a “scrub” is to keep your trajectory moving forward rather than up and you do that by turning the wheel down as you leave the ground, not up. Well, I’m glad we got that all cleared up and you can go ahead and get some rest tonight, Joe. While most of America has been losing sleep over their jobs, mortgages, debt, economy or national disasters, you are getting hooked on pills because a few old-school motocross guys remember one of their local heroes in a candy coated haze and gave him credit for a move clearly perfected by James Stewart. Have I nailed the pertinent facts as you see them? Dude…get some sleep.
PING

Dear Ping,
I have always placed you on a pedestal based on your infinite motocross wisdom and insight. You have always impressed me as a manly man, able to leap tall triples with a single blip of the throttle. Able to power slide around asphalt corners with the greatest of ease, to fall and brake both of your arms just to be like Iron Mike LaRocco ! Then I read a recent "Ask Ping" column and you referred to your clothing as an "outfit!” Needless to say, the pedestal height has dropped a couple of feet. Do you wake up each morning and think to yourself..."what outfit should I wear today?” As you ready yourself for a race, are you thinking, "Gosh, I hope my outfit doesn't get ruined today!”? Did you ask your team what outfit they would like to wear for the 2010 season?

Fortunately you have been blessed with a daughter, but should you some day be blessed with a son I hope you will teach him that girls wear "outfits!”

Keep up the great work Ping, I hope you have a successful 2010 season so you can buy some more outfits.
Regards,
Jeff
Pecatonica, IL

Dear Jeff,
I can’t remember what context I used that phrase, but I vaguely remember writing it. I think it had something to do with changing baby diapers. Regardless, it is clearly a violation of man-code and I realize I have accumulated a few homo-points by making that comment. I haven’t run it past my therapist yet, but I think it has something to do with the sheer number of females in my immediate surroundings. I live with my wife, two girls and three dogs [two of which are females]. My house is littered with Barbies, Disney princesses and Dora the Explorer dolls, which, by the way, drive me insane because “Dora” in no way rhymes with “explorer” unless it is being said by Snookie from Jersey Shore. But that’s an entirely different rant. My wife has three sisters and my sister has two daughters and all of them… every single one of them… refers to their clothing as an “outfit.” I really don’t stand a chance, do I? Please forgive me.
PING

Ping,
I'm sure you’re sick of hearing the Spencer Pratt thing so... It's some retired hockey player, and he's married to the girl from Full House (not an Olsen). You gotta print it, it's pretty good.
Sam Lauridsen

Dear Sam,
The Spencer Pratt thing has been non-stop ever since that guy became famous for doing whatever it is he does. I really wish you could give me a name to go with this guy. Does anyone out there know who this is? Surely a Canadian reader somewhere is going, “Hey, that’s (player’s name here)!” And if he’s married to the girl that used to date Uncle Jesse on that show then I’m really stoked on this guy because she was hot! If he ended up with the fat girl that played the older sister then, well, what are you gonna do? Okay, now let the letters pour in about me knowing so much about the show Full House and I can write an apologetic letter about it in next week's column. At least I didn't say I liked his "outfit."
PING

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