Let me get to the point: $8,500.00 for a new bike, $30.00 for the aluminum throttle tube, $254.99 for the power tuner, $75 bucks for the back tire, $70.00 for the front, $24.95 for the twin air filter, $995.95 for the pipe, $179.95 for the fork re-valve, $149.95 for the shock, a couple of hundred for the springs, $70 for new handle bars, $250.00 for the clamps, $71.99 for foot pegs, $65.43 for a new chain, $74.99 for a new back sprocket, $40 for a new filter and now I think I am ready to take my new bike and go get lapped in the over 50 class. What in the hell were we thinking when the 2-stroke died? If mom and dad are paying for it it’s great, but it sucks when I do. Now it gets real fun when the thumper grenades.
Sincerely,
Current, former and forever Grand National Bench Racing Champion and current # 1 plate holder.
Mike Moran
Dear Mike,
That’s quite a list you’ve compiled. I was waiting for the American Express commercial ending where you said, “Being passed by a 14-year-old on a YZ125… priceless.” But your closing was good, too. Really. If my math hasn’t failed me, and it certainly could have, you are about $10,813 in the hole before you even fire up your new machine. That’s pretty heavy. You do know that they still make two-strokes, right? I mean, if you are going to get your ass kicked anyway you might as well do it on a budget and have some fun in the process. KTM and Yamaha both make amazing two-strokes still and you would be shocked by the deals you can find on used machines in your area. It almost makes it more fun when you pick something up for a great price and then put a little elbow grease into it and pimp it out. It’s a lot like dating an ugly, fat girl and then getting her a trainer and a makeover until she is smoking hot. It’s a win-win, really.
The two-stroke is still alive, Mike. Congrats on that number one plate.
PING
Dear Ping,
Since we are on the home stretch of one of the best Supercross Series in history, Outdoor Nationals are just around the corner, which will be just as exciting. In light of being outside and letting it all hang out on the track, I was thinking, we should let it fly when it comes to our ‘staches. Just wide open, bar bangin grizzly growth on the upper. For 2011 Nationals, I declare "Stachies for Nashies" where we all rock our best tom selleck, french tickler, nose mullet, flavor saver (and whatever else you wanna call it) at the races.
K-Dub rocks one hell of a handlebar; you know he'd be up for it. Barcia and Wharton haven't even got out of 1st gear yet with their scraggly peach fuzz...but I'm sure they'd still try.
What do you think Ping? And can you even grow facial hair yet?
Wes - #831
Dear Wes,
I think that’s a great idea and I’d like to encourage anyone reading this to go ahead and join the “Stachies for Nashies” campaign in your area. Get creative and really “Explore the Space,” to borrow a phrase from famed produced, Bruce Dickinson. He was a fan of the cowbell, but I’m sure he would love to see some tributes to Sam Elliott out there as well. We already know Barcia can grow a split chin beard, an obvious tip of the cap to Jacobim Mugatu, but I haven’t seen his stache yet. And something tells me Dean Wilson isn’t going to sport a full push broom between now and the end of May… 2014. But they’ll get points for trying.
Personally, I can’t grow a respectable mustache. I know that seems sacrilegious for a guy going into the fire service, but it’s out of my control. I let all my facial hair grow recently during a trip to the mountains. It actually didn’t look too bad as a full goatee, but when I got home and shaved it into a mustache in my shower I looked like Adolf Hitler. It was frightening. I called my wife over to have a look at it and she started laughing hysterically. Usually when you are standing naked in the shower you don’t want your wife laughing, but this was pretty funny. So, if it’s all the same, I’ll sit this competition out.
PING
Ping,
Why do you look so angry in your RacerX icon photo? Did you just hear about the “lead law” or are you just constipated?
McB
Mechanicsville, MD
Dear McB,
Cudby shot that picture during our 450 shootout this year and I do look like an angry dick, don’t I? Draw a little black smudge under my nose and I bear a striking resemblance to Der Fuhrer. See question two for reference. I think I already knew about the lead law prior to that photo and, while I have been known to overdo it with the cheese on occasion, my gastrointestinal tract is as reliable as a Pontiac Bonneville. That rules out constipation. You have my word that I will put up a better picture before next week’s edition of Ask Ping. I will also try to oblige any requests… shirtless, shaved head, close-up, mustache? Anyone?
PING
Have a question for Ping? E-mail him at ping@racerxonline.com.
