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Ask Ping!

September 25, 2009 1:15pm | by: David Pingree
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  • Ask Ping!
Dear David Pingree.

How many times did I tell you, no matter what the affiliation, tree hugging is a great tool to get elected? This makes seven of your affiliation (that I know of) pushing 'anti-fun" legislation.  I quote-"The bill, introduced by U.S. Rep. Maurice Hinchey of New York, would ban motorized recreation on 9.4 million acres of public land in Utah by inappropriately designating it as Wilderness."

One question… do you drive a domestic truck?

PS...

I liked your work as the pastor/priest in the movie Grand Torino. (Man, If you came back and heroically won a championship and then reversed global stupidity (or something as good)....Christopher Carley would have to play you in a movie.)

Patrick Stojack

Dear Patrick,

My affiliation? Not so fast, Stojack. This is the latest in a fast-paced land grab from our elected officials. Most democrats, including Mr. Hinchey, are environmental activists or “tree-huggers” as you called them. They want to see as much land as possible be set aside and preserved from any type of use that could “damage” it. I appreciate what they are trying to do in theory but they are typically a little over-the-top and this particular bill is no different. Do you have any idea how many people use just the Moab area for riding, bicycling, hiking, rock crawling and off-roading? I don’t either but I’m certain it’s a big number. Can you comprehend how big 9.4 million acres is?! There has to be a balance in this type of thing and neither party is very good at that. Look, I’m not the hard-core, right wing republican that everyone thinks I am. When a “conservative” politician does something stupid I call him out on it. I’m more of a common sense kind of guy when it comes to political things.

Here’s something we can all agree on…click this AMA link and voice your opinion on the land closure.

P.S. - Haven’t seen Gran Torino. I haven’t seen many movies lately that aren’t cartoons. But I’ve seen Wall-E, Nemo and Ice Age about a thousand times. So, if you can use Manfred the Mammoth in some type of parallel that would help me. Thanks.

PING

Dear Mr. Pingree
 
I have a bit of a dilemma and could think of no one better to help me with it than you with your infinite moto wisdom. A couple of weeks ago at the local track, I was conversing with a few "kids" aka three-16 to 19 year old pro license-holding riders. The subject of me currently racing a 125 was brought up and was met with laughter and comments such as "I don't know how you ride that thing" and "my 110's probably faster." But the one that really got me was "Its funny to think that there used to be (insert finger quotes here) Professional 125 racers (insert laughter here)".  Appalled, I quickly responded "I was still winning A class and Arenacross racers every weekend in 2003 on a 125."  While briefly feeling satisfied with my matter-of-fact comeback, I was bitch slapped harder than KC Carlyle would have been if Tyler Evans ever actually got a hold of him by the 16 year old when he quipped, "hahahah, I was 9!"  That was followed by more laughter and poking fun at 2-strokes while I slowly walked my old man-feeling body back to my truck, completely mind#&@&ed.  So, my question is: What do I do about this to try to end this agony I have been in?  Hire J-Law to bite off their ears?  Lecture them that they will never become men until they race a 125 on a supercross track and have to set up for a triple three corners before and still hope you pull hard enough on the face to get over it? Do I get a neck tattoo and learn to bounce my 450 off the rev limiter over every single jump and forget 125's existed? Or, do I park my 125 and get over myself?  Until I hear from you, I'll be busy watching videos of the '00 western region supercross season, adjusting my clutch lever to the nearly straight up position and chroming my fenders all while wearing my 100% cotton jersey and Troy Lee custom painted helmet because those bikes and helmets were the s#!t and Loc Dog don't ride for no trick ass bitches.
 
Jeremy Runge
Otterville, IL


Dear Jeremy,

Or do you prefer to be called Mr. Loc Dog? Kids can be real morons and that is something that you must remember. I know this because I used to be one. Younger generations will never quite grasp the nostalgic wonders of the generation before them. The smell of premix in your exhaust and the sound of a crisp 250 two-stroke skipping across the tops of a set of supercross whoops is something most kids never got to experience. Sad, really. My advice is to forego the neck tattoo, keep riding your 125 and keep tabs on when those punks are having their 18th birthday. Once they reach that milestone you are free to punch them right in the nose if they get lippy again. I’m a believer that sometimes children need to be spanked. And once they turn 18, if they get out of line, they should be put back in line. Feel free to do that.

Cheers

PING

Ping,

How does Chad Reed not have a ride? He’s the national Champ!! And he is the only rider capable of beating Stewart in supercross. What’s going on!

Harpy

Dear harpy,

Take it easy with the exclamation points, son, I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Take a deep breath. Better? Okay. Listen to me here, because I want you to get this: Chad is going to be okay. He likes to talk about retiring just to get everyone worked up and force his sponsors into paying him more money. Right now he has Monster and Rockstar playing some kind of monetary tug-of-war with him. They are having a wiener-measuring contest, if you will. I don’t know who’s packing more but I can guarantee you that Chad Reed is going to be just fine. You should be concerned for the dozens of other riders that are going to be left with nothing when all the rides have been filled. Never before has there been such a shortage of rides. It’s a scary time.

PING
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