Dear almighty master of the motocross world,
I’m sitting here reading about the lowest of low people in our beloved sport; we all know them as the thieves of our bikes and gear or whatever else they take from us that we work so hard for. I am appointing you judge and jury in this case seeing you have taken a blood and bone oath in this sport. What do we do with this piece of trash, and others like him? Will he get a little slap on the wrist? Will they spank him with a fah-q paddle? I suggest they make an example out of this turd and prosecute him to the fullest. (or feed him some Mcgriddle sandwiches till he poops himself silly). I know this guy ruined the day for all those involved and then some and if someone stole my s%#t I’d cry like a little girl at first and then be out looking for blood and balls. Please share with us your greatly appreciated opinion. Thanks
madmike
ps: Do you think the king kong balls this guy had when he did this will help him in jail?
Dear Mad Mike,
You couldn’t be more correct about the guys that did this. It takes a real D-bag to steal something and if you’ve ever been robbed you know that feeling of being violated. It troubles you to your core and then pisses you off so badly you want to run to your kitchen and smash some plates. Our legal system tends to go a little easy on criminals, in my opinion, so I’m not sure what will happen to these guys. If it were up to me I would sentence him to a month in a federal penitentiary… just so he understands what it feels like to be violated and screwed by another person. Then I’d put him on a road crew cleaning freeways for a year. And when he’s through with that I’d have Dirt Wurks use him for a whoop in every supercross track on the series in 2010. Maybe, just maybe he would get the point by then. If not maybe we can talk J-Law into kicking his ass in the joint.
PING
Ping,
HELP! I have searched far and wide on this issue and have found no support. Am I going crazy or do I just need to give up the fight.
Everyone I know has turned from their first true love (motocross) and abandoned it for other activities (GOLF, SOFTBALL, ETC.)
Examples will help more than my irate rambling.
Ex 1: One of my best friends of 15 years, who loved motocross as much as I, now can’t find the time to ride. The same guy who would not be caught dead in anything but an Alpinestar, Fox or Troy Lee Design tee shirt now comes to my house wearing golf polo’s and a Titleist hats.All our conversations, hopes, dreams revolved around our next ride, new bikes or pro races. Now his vocabulary has changed from scrub, whip, pinned to something like approach shot, putting line, tee time.
Ex 2: I walked into my local motorcycle shop where I have heard they were having lay off’s and cutting hours. I started venting about how everyone has quit riding and taken up golf. Immediately the guys at the parts counter started talking about how they had recently sold their bikes, started playing golf and loved it. When I let in on questioning their man hood for saying such a thing they would simply reply, “The top racers in the world play golf (Stewart, etc.).” I tried to explain to them that pro racers train, practice, race for motocross 50+ hrs a week. So golf is just a relaxing activity to take their minds off of racing for a while. They did not sell their bikes and revoke their AMA cards to sign up for the PGA tour. I then wanted to tell them that the reason their hours are getting cut is because the once faithful customers that would spend their money at the shop are now spending it at Dick’s or Martin’s Golf.
Excuses and my reply in my search for support:
Too expensive: $50 green fees will get you into any MX park in my state.
No time: 4 hrs to play a round of golf and 3hrs to turn some laps at local practice track.
To dangerous: I would respect a ground hugging mxer who high speed singled everything on the track more than a scratch golfer.
I need answers and I need them ASAP.
Thanks,
The last of the Motocrosser’s
Michael Bingham, CPA
Dear Michael,
I’ve teed up on golfers before so I won’t get into that again here. But lets just say that those who aren’t man enough to ride, well, they golf. It’s one of the few “sports” where you can drink beer and smoke cigars while you play. Make no mistake I think golf is a sport just like the world series of poker is a sport. It’s the same as saying that Dr. Dre is a real doctor. Still, there are similarities that can’t be denied. One obvious similarity between motocross and golf is that they are both dominated by the only black guy on their respective tours. Also, both courses are watered heavily, both would be fun to ride on, both are expensive, both have a starters box and both require at least one glove to play. Michael, you can’t get mad at your friends because they are getting older. Some guys don’t have the stones to keep riding; it scares them. I’m not saying you need to stop hanging out with these guys but just make sure they don’t talk you into getting a pedicure or anything puts your masculinity into question. Got it? Good luck.
PING
Ping,
Alright, I love anything you write but I am growing tired of hearing about how bad it is to work in the Industry. Seriously...what if next week you were told to pack you stuff? The industry you have been a part of for your whole life is not hiring, now you hit up Craigslist or Monster.com and start looking for a job. Your eyes would get real big real fast. Then you find yourself working at a crappy job and then start to think that those hours on an airplane sitting next to a crying baby or sitting next to tons of fun and you cannot reach the volume control for theheadset were not that bad after all. I used to like Ryan Clarks write ups but then almost every month we got to read about how bad life is riding a motocycle for a job. So maybe you cannot go riding all the time but then when you do it is fun.Like you said you are just painting a pic so others will not join so you have job security. Let them find out for themselves and just keep writing the funny stuff you usually write about. Rant over .....Still a fan....but Matthes is gaining ground on the top step.
Dear ?,
First of all, please include your name when you write in. It shows a very real lack of integrity when you don’t have the stones to sign your name to your opinion. Secondly, that whole don’t-work-in-this-industry-because-it-sucks spiel was written very tongue in cheek. I’m sorry if you didn’t get that but the point I was making is that this industry is awesome and there is an endless line of people trying to break their way in. Maybe your mama didn’t tell you jokes when you were crapping yellow and you have trouble discerning between serious and funny but listen here, mystery man… that was a funny. Haha. I don’t know how slow I must be moving that Matthes is climbing steps faster than me but I’ll get moving. Because, you know, if he’s standing on the same step as me we are both going through the floorboards.
PING
