Ask Ping!

Ping,

I would like to hear your take on something.  I’ve noticed a few top riders have pulled out of the series [“A few” meaning pretty much 3/4^th of the contenders].  I’d list all of them but we don’t have that much time. My question is, at what point will we address the reason for this? What I mean is, like any problem in life, if we see an ongoing outcome, at some point, we typically review it and get a PhD for it.  My best example is autism in California. The rate of Autism in California is 700% greater than any other state.  I read that in a medical journal and thought, why is it that we have Jenny McCarthy as the leader in researching this? Where’s Grant Langston when we need him?  Grant, figure this out!  We need your help... and we need you back on the track.

Jumps too big? Tracks overly groomed?  Bikes too fast?  Kids too stupid because they’re home schooled? Black socks and caps obscure brain waves to the big piece of meat in their skull? What’s happening to our stars? Will the AMA ever address this?  I assume not, but since DC is involved, I still have hope.  What do you think?  Will the AMA do anything to lessen the accidents? 

Langley

Dear Langley,

The thing you have to remember is that dirt bikes are dangerous. But everything is relative. For instance, motocross is absolutely death defying when compared to playing dominoes. But when your options are racing bikes or working a real job like mining coal or logging then racers look like a bunch of wussies. If you look back a few years you will see that we’ve made huge strides in taking care of the riders. The Asterisk medical unit is invaluable to the sport. Before they came along you were tended to by EMT’s that were fresh out of a seven-week class on how to perform CPR. Unfortunately, unless you were pulseless and not breathing they could do precious little to help you. Now we have a trauma doctor and a medic on hand before the bikes stop cartwheeling. They’ve tried taming the tracks down but that didn’t seem to do much. Most riders that get hurt do so during the week at their practice tracks. You could make some protective equipment mandatory such as chest protestors, neck braces, wrist braces and knee braces but some riders would fight that all the way. And, like I said, they probably wouldn’t wear it during the week and that’s where most of them crash. If you must blame someone, blame Jenny McCarthy. That ignorant blonde is responsible for wasting a lot of people’s time with that MTV piece of crap Singled Out. Plus Jim Carrey hasn’t made a funny movie since they’ve been together. Now she’s getting racers hurt; that bitch.

PING

Ping,

I find it interesting that so many of the riders racing AMA Supercross and Motocross have had some kind of "stomach" illness at some point.  I remember RC had the problem a few years ago riding the Nationals, as well as countless other riders, and after reading the latest Monday Conversation with Christophe Pourcel, I decided I needed to find someone who could shed some light on the situation.  Is it the training? The diet? The overall abuse from riding so much? Ping, please enlighten me with your wisdom on this matter.

Thanks,

Kyle

Dear Kyle,

I remember during one of my first seasons as a professional I suffered a terrible stomach ailment. It would come on me hard in the mornings right before practice and then again late in the moto, especially if it was really hot. It was excruciating and at times I wasn’t sure I would be able to finish. You see, at that time Taco Bell had just introduced their now infamous double-decker taco. It was an engineering marvel that combined the gooey decadence of a bean burrito with the crispy, meaty goodness of that Mexican standby: the taco. Long story short; I was powering down a couple of those bad boys a night and it turns out they weren’t as good for you as the marketing executives at Taco Bell might have suggested. My illness, which became known as “Taco Belly,” was conquered after a hard-fought battle with my own hunger and slight addiction to their mild sauce.

Pourcel has a different story. He crashed and the damage has spun his innards into disarray. Or maybe he just needs to lay off the red wine and the stinky French cheeses?

As for the rest, I can’t speculate. I mean, I could but most people wouldn’t like what I had to say. So I’ll just suggest that if any of them are currently hooked on Volcano Taco’s they need to make a change.

PING

Ping,

I heard you’re coming to Canada to race again. Is this true or is it folklore like Sasquatch or that Kathy Griffith used to be a man?

P.S. I heard she was signing autographs at the GEICO Honda pits recently?

Chucky in Alberta

Dear Chucky,

Who can stay away from Canada for long, Chuck? I’ve raced nationals in Dechambault and Calgary over the years and I’m going to add Walton to that list this August. The Label-it Racing team is hooking me up with a bike and I’m going to go have some fun. Whoever the guy is that gets fifth place up there better watch out… I’m coming for his spot.

P.S.- I believe Kathy Griffith was a man. And he/she was seen milling around Trey Canards bike recently. That’s all I know.

PING