Ask Ping!

PING,

I read your stuff every week and I absolutely love reading you rip into some of these guys. Keep up the good work! I do have one question though that I believe only you may be able to answer...Besides his great observations, and ex-mechanic status, how in the hell does Matthes get away with doing nothing? From the sounds of it...The pits at a race are like one big old country buffet for him. How do I score this job?

P.S. Where in the world is Ezra Lusk?!

Good Luck to your team at Washougal! See you there.

-Travis
Spokane, WA

Dear Travis,
I don’t know what Matthes is pulling down each month from his various employers but I do know that he eats his body weight in food at every single race. The poor guys at Kawasaki must have to budget an extra 5k per year to keep him fed. If you want his job just find a rider you like and glom onto him like a booger on an index finger. That worked for Steve.

Yogi is at home in Georgia playing tennis in a league. From what I understand he’s got some serious game. I wish he would come around more because he is a great guy. See you in Washougal.

PING

Ping,
I thoroughly enjoy the column and your sense of humor; it's fantastic. To get down to my question, where is Kdub? I heard him talking all during supercross season he had some surprises for the fans, but what is Geico Honda thinking not putting him under the tent for the outdoor season? He has to be one of the all time favorites and bring more fans to the rig than Kathy Griffin on a good night. Thanks for your time and good luck with the team in 2009!

Rusty
Birmingham, AL

Dear Rusty,
Okay, I agree with you about Kevin being super-popular and a great rider and all that; I get that part. But of all the celebrities you could have come up with, you choose Kathy Griffin? I mean, I know who she is… but just barely. She’s like the female version of Carrot Top. Maybe she’s huge down there in Alabama, kind of like David Hasselhoff in Germany. Perhaps now that Reardon is out with a shoulder injury they will bring K-Dub out of the woods in Mississippi and get him back on a bike. If not, maybe you can sell them on bringing Kathy Griffin to the races to sign autographs.

PING

Ping-

What’s going on with Mike Alessi? Does he really think he can smash his patella into pieces and then race two weeks later? Is this the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard of or what? Give us your take.

Joe B

Dear Joe,
I’ve heard from a good source that Mike has some magic magnets that are healing him. And he has a doctor that thinks he has the cure to injury, cancer and pretty much anything else that ails you [if your pockets are deep enough]. The term "Witch Doctor" has been thrown around. The truth is that I don’t know what’s going on up there. I remember Mike talking about anointing his head with castor oil the last time he was injured. I’m a Christian man but that still seemed kind of weird to me. Personally, I don’t see how his kneecap can withstand the rigors of motocross if it was just fractured two weeks ago. Maybe the surgery has made the bone structurally stable and all he’ll have to do is deal with the pain. Hey, I jumped back on a bike six weeks after snapping both bones in one arm and one in the other so I know that there are ways to manage the pain. I just don’t want to see Mike get himself hurt again. From his perspective this is his best chance at a motocross championship. You have to respect that. He is the only one that really knows how bad the injury is. The best thing we can do is hope he has good people in his camp that will give him good advice. Okay, now I’m worried. I guess we’ll all find out tomorrow night.

PING

Got a question for Ping? Email him at ping@racerxonline.com.