Dear Ping,
Just wondering what you consider to be the criteria for the perfect Moto Wife? I have been trekking to the local MX parks with my hubby for several years now and have noticed that we wives all seem to have different ideas of what we should be doing. I have seen the “Trophy Wife” who struts around in her tank top, short shorts and matching flip-flops and stands back quietly observing while she polishes her nails. I have seen the “Psycho Wife” who stands at the fence line and screams at the husband as he goes by and then blames everyone else when her beer-gutted love doesn’t win. I have seen the “Wimpy Wife” who stands chewing her nails worrying that her man won’t make it back alive. I have seen the “Drill Sergeant Wife” that waits for the love of her life to return, only to point out all the mistakes he made and squeeze his testicles until he sings soprano. My personal list of must-dos as a Moto Wife is to always wish him good luck before he leaves the pits, stand at the fence and pay close attention to both him and the other riders so that if he asks “how did number 88 finish” I can give him the answer, have a bottle of water ready for him when he returns and be prepared to clean his helmet, boots or bike if needed while he rests in between motos. Am I doing enough, or are there other criteria I should shoot for?
MXER Wife
Dear MXER Wife, Ellie Reed
Does your husband know how lucky he is? I’ve seen every type of moto wife over the years, and the good ones are few and far between. Most of the rats scurrying through the pro pits today are looking for a factory ride more desperately than the riders. The most common in the pro pits are the SoCal “Bro-Hos” that run around in raised foam sandals, a miniskirt, way too much makeup and a skimpy little top that can’t possibly hold the amount of silicone they are being required to. They also have one of two haircuts: There is the standard Root Beer Hair, which is a gross mixture of bleach-blonde and dark brown streaks. And the classier groupies all have the Posh Spice bob. There are no other hair style options for these girls; it’s one or the other. Their life’s ambition is to hook up with a pro racer, marry him and have his baby…and add their name to his checking account. Not necessarily in that order, either. While this is the most common groupie/girlfriend/wife in the pits, all of the types you listed are present as well. Remember when Chad Reed’s wife was screaming at him after he did poorly at a supercross last year? I’ll let you guess what category she would fall under. You are one of the very few wives that are doing the right thing. If your husband ever tells you that you aren’t being supportive enough, well, he’s an idiot.
PING
Ping, Break out the toothbrush!
I am 17 years old and love motocross. I cannot go a day without watching, reading, or talking about it. I live near Philly so it’s cold out most of the year. But to my question: I see the pros bikes and I know they have many replacement parts and what not but HOW do they get them so clean? I have two bikes: a 2007 KX450F and a 2002 CR250R. I spend anywhere from 6 to 8 hours each cleaning them, even with a toothbrush. They get very clean but I never seem to be satisfied with the job I did. I use a pressure washer, I scrub down the bike with soap and then rinse with water. Then I'll rewash the bike and let the soap sit. After that I rinse and scrub with a toothbrush what needs to come off. But yet somehow I never have the cleanest bike in the pits at the local races. I enjoy racing more than cleaning but I take pride in keeping my racing steeds as clean as can be and would love some tips to have the cleanest steed in the pits before I go out and get it dirty while roosting others. If you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it!
Sean DeLancett #69
Dear Sean,
Dude, they make medication for that. Seriously. I can appreciate your attention to detail and I love your energy but you need to start looking at the bigger picture here, pal. There is no reason for you to be scouring away at your bike with a toothbrush. There are no Cavity Creeps in your linkage. Rinse your bike with the pressure washer, soap it down with Simple Green or another bike cleansing product, scrub with a regular brush, and rinse. It is a very simple process. The only way to get it cleaner is to bolt on new parts and that gets expensive. Try to focus more of your energy on riding and training. Remember: even a dirty bike looks good with a first-place trophy sitting on top of it.
PING
Ping,
Ok, I really can convert, and I realize this isn't a tech column. But how come the units of measurement on my bottle of Yamalube are different than in my Yamaha Manual, which is different from the markings on the motor of my Yamaha motorcycle? Don't you think that if, like the computer industry, the motorcycle industry made things more "user-friendly," it would be better for business? If I need an explanation of the difference between 'capacity' and 'volume,' I'll reference my file of "Secret World" articles from MXA. Just hoping to get some commentary on the discombobulation of the motorcycle industry.
Kent. Honolulu, Hawaii
Aloha, Brudda Kent,
Oh, brah, you no can figga out dakine fo da oil? Oh, sorry, every time I think about the islands I bust out my best pigeon. I definitely hear what you are saying, cuz. Jody Weisel’s infinite tech wisdom aside, things could stand to be simplified a bit. I mean, just when I got a sweet set of 8mm, 10mm and 12mm T-handles that could work on any bike, KTM cleans a bolt manufacturer out of 13mms and fastens their entire lineup with them. And this isn’t isolated to the moto world, either. For instance, why does every single cell-phone manufacturer have to have a different adapter for their charger? Couldn’t they all just agree on one fitting so that I wouldn’t wind up with 87 different phone chargers stuffed into a drawer? Why does there need to be DVD and Blu-ray Disks? Can’t every country agree which side of the road to drive on? Why does McDonald’s keep bringing back and then taking away the McGriddle sandwich? It’s delicious! Just put it on the menu and leave it. Kent, you aren’t the only one that has these problems in our sport so don’t worry…the Maui Wowie hasn’t clouded your ability to think. It’s just really hard to convert.
PING
Got a question for Ping? Email him at ping@racerxill.com.
