Editor’s Note: I would like to apologize for any confusion or
perceived insults that any ATV riders and ATVScene-sters out there may
have felt after Ping’s last column. The truth is, he respects all
racers—two or four wheels (though he really can’t stand mimes who ride
unicycles, but Millsaps is all right). It’s just that quadcycles are
bigger, so they make bigger targets for his vitriol, kind of like
Brokeback Mountain jokes or homeschooling. He wants nothing to do with
Doug Gust or John Natalie on a quadcycle track either, and he’s still
waiting to get together with Johnny Gallagher at a GNCC for a weekend
race-off: Quads on Saturday, Bikes on Sunday. He’s just afraid that the
ATV guys will use him as a welcome mat in the first corner, then hang
him from the podium like a 12-point buck. DC
Dear Ping,
Got a simple one for ya. Do you let your wife ride?
Jonathan Llanes
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Dear Jonathan,
I do my best to keep her off a motorcycle. It’s for her own good. The
last time she threw a leg over a bike was last summer. We were staying
at our friends' Brock and Tricia Sellards’ house in New Philadelphia,
Ohio, for a couple weeks. There’s not much to do in New Philly,
especially where Brock lives, which is about 20 miles outside of town.
So one day, the girls decided to go riding on two Honda Cubs that Brock
had restored. Keep in mind, they don’t know how to ride. They also
didn’t think they needed helmets, or any other gear for that matter,
because they saddled up in shorts, tanks-tops, and flip flops—full
Glamis mode.
Fueled by some designer coffee and a little boredom,
they headed out onto Brock’s outdoor track to find a jump. They rolled
up to a 70-foot tabletop and proceeded to initiate a grudge match to
see who could jump the farthest. They took turns hitting the jump,
going faster, higher, and farther each time until they started to look
like Evel Kneivel hitting his first ramp jump. Maybe we should have
told them to stand up when they take off and land.
Somehow they managed to get through it without going
down, but it was only by the grace of God. We had to hide the keys to
the bikes after that. The next day, my wife looped out a 110 on Brock’s
driveway trying to show the other girls how to do a start. That was the
last straw: They were banned from all dirt bikes for the week.
So, Jonathan, I do my best to keep her off
motorcycles. If she brings it up, I just start talking about shoe
sales, Brad Pitt, or the mall and she’s over it.
PING
Hey Ping,
Could you please tell me how much SX riders get paid to win their heat
races and how is the pay for a first, second, and third in the main
event. Thanks.
Shannon
Dear Shannon,
Are you serious? Typically, a gold-digger like yourself will try to
sugarcoat it or find out how much loot the riders are pulling down
discreetly. Not you. You are the bottom feeder of the proverbial fish
in the sea. Girls like you want a factory ride more than most privateer
riders. What happened to you as a child that your only ambition in life
is to hook a successful man? Girls like you make me want to vomit. And
I don’t mean just a little mini-throw-up that gets to the back of your
mouth and then gets swallowed back down; I’m talking about a full-on,
toilet-hugging, vein-popping,
I-can’t-believe-how-much-bile-is-coming-out-of-me upheaval that flexes
your abdomen so tight that you crap your pants in the process..
Wait, you’re a girl, right?
PING
Ping,
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Travis
Pastrana was scolded by the AMA in Daytona for doing a backflip over
the finish-line jump. By the time he got back to his truck, they had
formal documents drawn up for him to sign ensuring him that if he ever
did that again, he would be banned from AMA competition permanently.
They told him that freestyle tricks belong at a freestyle contest, not
on the racetrack. They really came down hard on him. My question is
this: What is the difference between his backflip and the other
freestyle tricks guys do at the races? RC does can-cans, McGrath and
Reed do nac-nacs,
Bubba whips it so hard that he is practically
upside-down, and KW and Vuillemin do heel-clickers all the time.
They’ve never been yelled at. What’s the difference? Should all tricks
should be illegal or none of them?
Mike DaRuky. Orange County
Dear Mike,
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You make a great point. Given the situations, McGrath’s first-lap
nac-nac in Phoenix was probably putting more people, particularly other
riders, in danger than Travis’ Daytona stunt. They can’t say that it
was illegal because he was inverted,because I’ve seen Bubba upside-down
a time or two over the finish line. What Deegan did in L.A. in 1997 was
definitely out of line. He ghost-rode the bike across the line, and I
canunderstand why the AMA was upset about that. But what if Travis had
pulled that backflip off? Would they still have been so hard on him? I
don’t have the answers, Mike. I realize that backflips are dangerous
tricks, but I’m certain that TP would have pulled it off if he was on a
250 or if the jump were a little bigger. That particular jump was not
ideal for a flip. I know the AMA just wants everyone to stay safe, but
it sure is a double standard to say that he can’t do that trick but
other guys can do other tricks. The Dogger never got DQ’d for doing his
patented no-leggers when he won. And where was the AMA when Wardy threw
out his mean triple-fist-pump when he flew by the checkered flag at
Fulton County Stadium? What’s the real difference? After all, isn’t
Pastrana more dangerous in the whoops anyway?
PING
