Hey Ping,
I was thumbing through the Spring 2006 Motosport Outlet catalog and
found a great deal on a new seat for my scoot. Since my order was a few
dollars short of $100 (free shipping for $100 orders), I decided to get
a T-shirt. As I was perusing the various T-shirts, I suddenly
recognized one of the T-shirt models as Gunner Nelson from the band
Nelson from the '90s. I called my wife over to show her my unusual
finding. She immediately said, " You're such a Dumas, that's the guy
from Racer X who writes that column called “Ping”—the same guy who lost
the 125 SX title by one point in the '90s." To my astonishment, she was
right, I am a Dumas, and you do resemble that Gunner guy. The
similarity is too overwhelming to ignore. Is Ricky Nelson your dad? See
picture of your long-lost brother above.
David Paul. Woodridge IL
Dear David,
I am in complete agreement with you and your wife: You are a Dumas. And
I got the chills when I saw the photo of Mr. Nelson. The photo looks
like you morphed a picture of me and Ellen DeGeneres together. I’m not
sure if the photo is doctored, but I know I’m not related. While I was
a devout Alice in Chains groupie briefly in the 1990s, I was never a
fan of the Nelsons. Never. Not even when that one hit song came out.
However, if you get any type of DNA evidence, please contact me
immediately—maybe they will let me in on the reunion tour. Thanks.
PING
Ping,
Your response to homeschooling was asinine at best. You stated that
homeschooled children are dysfunctional what exactly do you base that
on? Or do you pull all your info out of you're a$$? How many people do
you know that went to public schools that are working at the AM/PM? The
only part you have right is that the parents need to set boundaries for
there children. But apparently if they go to public school you don't
need to set a boundary for your child that is what school is for. This
is the exact reason why our educational system is in the state it is.
People like you have children then send them off to school to have
there teachers raise them and when they get into trouble it is the
schools fault. What do think school is for? You say it is a gamble to
homeschool your children you may want to look at what the national
average is for graduating from public schools you might be surprised at
what you find out. Next time do us all a favor and do a little research
before you open your mouth.
Mike Lozano
Dear Mike,
It’s obvious that you were either homeschooled or your kids are
homeschooled. Otherwise there’s no logical reason for you to be so
affected by my personal opinion—unless, of course, you work at an AM/PM
yourself, which would explain some of your bitterness and rage. But
I’ll be a little more specific about my stance on homeschooling so you
can get back to tending the Slurpee machine, so pay attention because I
want you to get this. No school can be expected to
raise your children. That is the job of the parents and nobody else. My
gripe with homeschooling is that kids have fewer chances to learn how
to interact with people their own age, peers, the opposite sex, etc.
Even if the parents of a homeschooled child ride him like Seabiscuit
about doing his homework and making his studies a priority, it is my
personal opinion that he or she is still missing that key component in
becoming an adult. I am not saying that public school is the answer;
most of the public high schools in Southern California are just holding
facilities for state penitentiaries and strip clubs until the students
come of age. Some public schools are decent, and there are also some
incredible private and Christian schools that would be a great option
if I were enrolling my child. But in motocross—which is my frame of
reference here—there are a lot folks leaving the “school” part out of
the homeschool equation. And speaking of that, Mike, do you realize
that there are quite a few grammatical errors in your angry little
tirade? What exactly is your educational background? Maybe you should
have done a little research before you hit send. Now straighten up the
Slim Jim display and get back to work.
PING
Hey Ping,
What are "Rocky Mountain Oysters," and I was wondering if you have ever
tried them. Knowing how much you love food, I thought you would be the
one to ask. Thanks.
Erick from Vegas
Dear Erick,
I haven’t heard about Rocky Mountain Oysters since, well, last week.
They are a delicacy in my old home state of Montana and I was in Big
Sky Country last week for a family visit. Montana folks are a different
breed. It’s easy to write them off as simple and “hickish” at first,
but if you sit down and blend into the slower pace up there, you’ll
meet some of the nicest people around. There’s no pretension and very
little attitude. Just don’t bring up the movie Brokeback Mountain
—it doesn’t go over up there the way it does in “blue state” cities like New York or L.A.
To answer your question, Rocky Mountain Oysters are
bull testicles, Erick, and while they are no Krispy Kreme donut, some
people just can’t get enough of them. As for me, I’ll stick to candy
and cake.
PING 
