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Ask Ping

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Hey Ping,
 
Why do you answer so many questions from Dion in Covina?
 
Chris Schubert
Whitehouse, Ohio

Dear Chris,
I didn’t realize that I had answered more than one question from Dion in Covina. Are you keeping track of how many times I reply to people? Is that some kind of sick game you like to play? Are you stalking me? Seriously, are you? Because I’ve never had a stalker before and that would be pretty cool. If you want to get out of the cold in Ohio there are some great bushes in front of my house you could hide in and peep through my family room windows. I don’t have any binoculars or anything but I can bring you out some hot chocolate and a blanket while you are getting your misdemeanor on. Good luck and see you soon.

PING

 

Ping? BT? Knight? No, it's Steve Matthes.

photo: Trevor Greaves

Hey Ping,
 
What's up with Matthes running your # at the World Vets? (see pic above) I thought #101 belonged to you (errr.....Townley?)
 
Oh, not only that, but he's riding the Novice class!!!! Isn't Mr. Matthes a former pro??? Tisk tisk...
 
Steve, I love your Observations column but I had to give you some s#!t. Good racing with you Saturday!
 
-Chris Lubas (#563)


Dear Chris,

When Steve started writing a pointed column with call-it-as-he-sees-it analysis and sarcastic wit, I let it slide. Sure, it was an obvious rip-off but I found it mildly entertaining so I ignored the blatant copyright infringements. But sporting the 101 on his bike is just too much. Ricky was welcome to use it at the Des Nations a few years back, David Knight does the digit proud and, despite out public banter, I’m fine with Ben Townley using my number (that’s right, sheep-boy… it’s mine). But Mathes crossed a line here and if I didn’t think he’d sit on me until the air was squished from my lungs like an inflatable pool toy I’d walk right up to him and dot his eye. I realize that Steve used to be a pro racer many, many, many years ago. But between long, cold Canadian winters, McDonalds McGriddle sandwiches and bad genetics the former AMA pro license holder now looks more like a WWA pro license holder. In a purple mask he would look just like The Revolting Blob from Adam Sandler’s Billy Madison. In fact, when you factor in weight, age and bad facial hair choices our buddy Steve should have been signed up in the beginner class…Or in the Ringling Bros circus wearing a tutu.

PING


Dear Ping,
A girl I have just started seeing is a surfer and reckons 
motocrossers are all rev heads and red necks. I argue that they are all cool individuals but recent photos of champions such as RC racing nascar, MC racing monster trucks and RV posing next to murdered fricken animals is hurting my cause. Can you help? Can relationships ever work with those from different walks of life? Should I go anywhere near the beach or stay well away from the place? I like her ping...
Thanks
Daniel

Dear Daniel,

Damon Bradshaw

photo: Racer X Archives

I don’t know what a “rev head” is but I’m afraid that there are quite a few red necks in our sport. From Bob Hannah to Damon Bradshaw to Ricky Carmichael to Ryan Villopoto, motocross stars could be the punch line of some of Jeff Foxworthy’s best jokes. But we have much more to offer than just rednecks. We are a regular high school common area of cliques and groupings. We have the clean-cuts like Langston, Gracyk, Ferry, Dungey, Windham and Short. There are the hip-hop superstars like Reed, Stewart, Tyler Evans, Kyle Partridge and Ryan Mills. The crowd that hangs out under the bleachers smoking includes guys like Jason Lawrence, Josh Grant, Daniel Sani and Michael Willard. The loaners are Travis Preston, Heath Voss and Ivan Tedesco. The odiferous foreigners include Vuillemin (the ringleader), Boniface, Rodrigues, Sorby and Davalos. This sport has it all, baby! The hot cheerleaders? Um, hello, can you say Erin Bates and Sara Lipert?

My advice to you is to buy some Quiksilver board shorts and learn how to surf. Besides, you don’t want to bring her to the races. She’d be sleeping with one of the factory guys quicker than you could say Sex Wax.
Surfs up, bro.

PING

Have a question for Ping? E-mail it to ping@racerxill.com.

 


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