Cool as Hell: Classic-Fieds

Cool as Hell Classic-Fieds

July 5, 2015 10:00am

Reverse Psychology

In the wise words of Racer X reader Bill, who submitted this ad, “Two wrongs don't make a right, and two turds don't make a bike.” You’re absolutely right, Bill, and in this situation, the undesirable byproduct of these two lousy turds is an even bigger, crappier turd that reeks of stripped bolts, bubble gum welds, and Jack Daniels.

We named this entry “Reverse Psychology” not because of the backward trike, but because something in the brain of this seller needs to be turned back around. What he’s got going on right now obviously isn’t working. Don’t believe us? Just read the tail end of his sales pitch! 

NO REAR BRAKES HAS FRONT THATS ALL YOU NEED HAHA

can ride it..... everything is tac welded you will need to finish it... have 1" square tubing to go with to finish it 

Not only does the seller not see the importance of rear brakes, but his femur-eater of a machine is basically paper clipped together, leaving the buyer in the unenviable position of hoping he finds each of the many weak links in this three-wheeled chain. A note to the seller—you’re not supposed to stick the entire Q-tip in your ear, fella. 

Bottom Line

This is a worse, and less safe, idea than genetically engineering dinosaurs, and almost as stupid as making another movie about it. 

Drift King

What we have here is failure to communicate—clearly, anyway. Just because something is touted as one of a kind does not make it good. Charles Manson is a unique chap, and you don’t see us throwing him up on our shoulders and singing, “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow,” do you? And how about those fork tubes? Seems like the odds of taking a Schrader valve to the teeth if you run into something (which you will because there’s no way anyone is riding this thing sober) would be pretty high. Not a concern for the seller, though, who probably doesn’t have many teeth left anyway. 

The trend of turning motorcycles into trikes seems to be on the rise, and if we don’t do something about it, it’s going to be an epidemic. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my kids grow up in a world where haggard three-wheelers that used to be perfectly good motorcycles are the norm. For that reason, I’m going to start carrying a hacksaw around with me, and if I see one of these things in person I’m going to do the right thing and cut one of the wheels off. I urge you to do the same. [Disclaimer: I don’t actually urge you to do that, but I’m also not urging you not to.] 

The Bottom Line

Despite everything I just said, I kind of like this little thing on account of the drift wheels. There’s a bar here where I live in Chico that has trike races, and if I went in there armed with this bad boy and a pint of pale I could really clean up. Of course, I’d still have to saw a wheel off and light it on fire afterward.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Which is why we’ve kept the text to a minimum on this entry and included all the photos from the ad. Just crank up Whitesnake and enjoy. And if you still want more text, click through to the ad and check out the very amusing sales pitch.

Bottom Line

Nothing wrong with loving your machine, but this dude needs to serve 8–10 for putting “less than 15 hours” on what was once a very cool motorcycle. And once he’s out, we need to make sure the terms of his probation state he’s no longer allowed to apply stickers to motorcycles, and under no circumstances is he to pose with one ever again.