Dudes, interviews are boring. What is there to talk about when the season ends? Why not just talk about stuff that has just about nothing to do with racing? We called Wil Hahn to see what's going on. Here's an excerpt.
Racer X: Dude your phone is breaking up badly.
Wil Hahn: Yeah let me get to the top of this slide here.
Top of a slide?
Yeah. It goes into the pool.
Oh, I thought you were hanging at a playground for a second.
[Laughs] No, as cool as that would be, though, this is actually one that goes into the pool. But, as bad as this sounds, we have invited kids over to play in the pool. I'm sorry, that's messed up.
No, no, you just have a pool and you live in Texas. It's hot there and everyone loves a pool. Anyway, just wanted to congratulate you--you finally get to go back to your real job reffing NFL games. That had to be tough watching all of that on the sidelines, helpless.
Yeah, yup, I'm feeling pretty good about this. I'll now be able to make the call the next time there's an intertouchdownception. I'm really excited to do it just to help people out. I mean, everyday, my phone is just overloaded with people freaking out about these calls. Sorry about the strike! We're going back to work, people.
A lot of people don't know you were a huge football player back in the day.
Yeah, I wasn't even really into it, I was just a really, really big kid. I used to bully kids around, so they told me to take my rage out on the gridiron. I was a linebacker, and I just tried to level dudes. That was my only objective in life: Level dudes. People don't always give me the respect I deserve, it was tough to do that in fourth grade.
Simon Cudby photos
You didn't even have plays to run, you just leveled anyone you saw.
Yeah, they just said "always attack anyone."
So the dirt bike thing was more of a side project.
It was. Except I was really stretching out frames a lot because I was so big. I was just snapping bikes left and right.
But you were at least able to carry the bike back?
Of course! But then I would hand it to my dad, and of course he would drop it, because I didn't realize how heavy it actually was.
What about the cheerleaders? That has to be what you miss most from your football days.
That's got to be the biggest bummer of all. If I was trying to get a kid from outside this sport to get into motocross, that has to be one of the biggest downfalls--no more cheerleaders. I guess we have our own version with Monster Girls and whatnot.
Yeah, but they don't do cheers! What if you were going through a gnarly sand-whoop section, just all ragged out and super tired, hot, and cheerleaders were on the side of the track saying, "Give me a W! Give me an I!" Would that help you find inspiration?
It depends, but I think so. It could also distract you. Have you ever seen this?
Not yet, but maybe we're onto something here. Your phone is cutting out. How's that pool?
It's good. It's a little chilly right now. It still gets hot here during the day. It gets to the 90s during the day, I'll run it still.
So are you one of those cheater guys that claims you have a track, but really you put some livestock on it, too?
Not me, but my dad Tom, he has some stuff out here so he can be all Agri.
What kind of stuff?
Cows and a couple of bulls and steer.
You up at 4 a.m. milking them?
No. Not me.
What's wrong with you kids? Don't you understand the meaning of hard work?
Oh, I get hard work, but I'm not about to get kicked in the junk trying to milk a cow.
[Laughs] So is that the cow's go-to move? You go for the teet and it goes for the nuts?
I feel like it is! And it worries me!
Has your dad taken some nut shots?
He's definitely been threatened. It's like a bulls-eye. They say the cows are colorblind but they can see red around your nuts.
[Laughs] Is it true your dad used to ride three-wheelers?
Well, maybe, but he was a quad guy. He owned dirt bikes, too, but the last thing he owned would have been a quad.
So he could get a quad and do so nasty donuts out there on the farm.
Without a doubt.
Could you have a donut off with him? How are your donut skills?
Not that good, but I'll practice if that's what it takes. I have an XR250, and that thing was made to do that.
You had an XR250?
No, I still have one. Right now.
Air-cooled and everything?
I picked it up for $300. My mom called me one day and said, "I have a client who has a dirt bike for sale." And I told her, 'Yeah I'm on a team, I don't really need a dirt bike, we're good.' But she kept asking. Said it was $500. She sends me a picture and it looked brand-new! An '03 XR250. But it doesn't run. So I worked the guy over a bit and got him to give it to me for less than $500. Brought it home, cleaned the carb, and it fired right up.
I'm glad you brought this up. I have an '03 WR250F, a little more advanced than the XR, but still it's a trail bike. Here's the problem: At one point, the bike was stolen. Then, amazingly enough, the cops actually found it and gave it back to me. Do I need to disclose this? Or if I'm selling a 9-year-old bike for $1000, do people understand it's all as-is?
I don't think you need to tell them at all. Hey, it's up to them to get a Car Fax report.
Oh, good point. Well, it wasn't abused when the other dude had it. He just rode it on the road, in fact. Until he got arrested.
Well, that's exactly what you want. You need to list in the ad, "All highway miles."
[Laughs] So when do you ride this XR?
I'll double everything on my supercross track.
Get out of here!
This bike has conventional forks! Fork boots?
Yeah, the boots are a little cracked, but it has them.
And you'll double all day long on it?
All day long. The bike was meant to double!
How much money would someone have to offer for you to try to blitz whoops on this thing?
You'd be surprised! As long as they're not too deep, it gets through 'em.
You've done some whoops on this bike!?
So the triple clamps don't just snap?
Well, they haven't yet. Honda builds genuine bikes, man. They're tough.
And it's a 250 four-stroke, so it's very similar to what you race.
Yes. Almost identical.
So why is your cell service so bad? Just middle of nowhere Texas?
That's pretty much it. We don't have internet here either.
Yeah we are so far out, they would have had to do this big installation, and it still would have been $100 a month or something just for the internet, so we decided not to.
So I could just write whatever I want here and you'll never read it.
Pretty much. And I'm so far away from everything in Texas, I'd never be able to get to you anyway. Like, I would run down to the end of my driveway all mad, but then I'd just be tired.