As we near another Christmas season, I passed a nativity scene and saw Baby Jesus, his parents, the obligatory cow and sheep (nothing unusual for a guy from Montana, I'm sure) and my thoughts turned to you.  "Why", you may ask?  Because there among the nativity scene were the wise men, of course.  My questions and musings are profound in nature and I knew that you, and you alone, could answer them.

With all of the recent news regarding the Penn State and Coach Jerry Sandusky scandal, I am relieved that our sport seems to be the only one free of this kind of disgusting abuse of boys by the adults they're entrusted to.  Why do you feel that is?  Is it because our sport is more family involved, with dad, mom and a couple dogs there at the track?  Is it because we are just better people?  I think the only time I ever saw somebody almost get corn-holed was when Howerton tried to block Hannah back in the day and Hannah slammed him hard from behind, but that was as close as it ever got.

I am concerned about this younger generation though.  Without mentioning names, I have seen several kids at the local track and even some of the "stars" of the sport on TV, sagging their pants low and showing off their cracks.  Bad idea, guys.  We all know these twisted pervs are out there.  The last thing we need is for you to lure them in.  Pull up the pants.  Tighten the belt. 

Merry Christmas, Ping
JT
840

• 
  Really, San Francisco? Really?

You pretty much nailed it by saying that twisted pervs are out there. Yes, our motocross family is one of the more functional ones but it doesn’t mean we don’t have our share of crazy uncles that show up at Thanksgiving and fart during the meal.

Look, it’s a freak show out there. If you don’t believe that this country is unraveling like a bad holiday sweater being tugged at by two raucous pit bull puppies just have a look up in San Francisco this week where hundreds of granola-eating losers took a brief hiatus from their “Occupy” positions to set a world record. Well, gathering the most naked Santas into one area isn’t a real world record but these people are about as useful as tits on a bull so this is all we can really expect from them. Sadly, it’s an ugly microcosm of an entire generation. If guys wearing skin-tight girls pants was our biggest problem I’d say let's just ride it out. They’ll laugh at themselves in five to ten years. But we are headed in a bad direction my friend. I hear they discovered another planet billions of light years away that may be able to sustain life. I wonder how soon I can book a flight?

Merry Christmas, JT.

PING

Ping,

I was looking at some ads in Racer X and was wondering why all the brands from hard parts to apparel have the riders giving there best hardcore look in there ads from the kids to adults. I understand they are pro athletes but none of these guys came from the hood are even near the hood. I’m not saying it’s the rider’s fault because that’s what the brands want in their ads, but why? The only brand that I could see this type of ad and understand is the Metal Mulisha brand.  If you look at the ads in Sports Illustrated or Slam magazines the athletes have the same look but it makes more sense seeing where the bulk of them come from. Just wondering what you thought about it. Thank you for reading… I look forward to Ask Ping every week!

Isaac

• 
  Dad, why does Jeff get to be in the picture?!

I’m going to pitch an advertising campaign that features smiling people doing really nice things. Maybe a sweet, properly dressed girl holding the door open for an old lady or a young boy delivering newspapers to earn money and learn work ethic would be enough of a departure from the norm to get some attention. Probably not. But that just leaves us with naked girls sitting in a bathtub full of Fruit Loops and Brian Deegan swinging around a pair of handlebars like a battleaxe with a look of anger/constipation on his face. It just seems like we could do better, doesn’t it?

PING

Dear Ping

This weekend I am heading to Chicago to announce some AMA Arenacross races for SPEED. Like any top professional, I study my craft diligently, watching countless hours of film to perfect my skills. The only trouble is, watching all these races has resulted in an addiction to the term "huckabuck." It's used quite often on the Monster Energy Supercross telecasts, and then over the summer during Lucas Oil AMA Pro Motocross, I spent many a weekend seated next to Jeff Emig in the TV trailer, hearing huckabuck with great consistency. I'm still not sure what the term means or where it came from, but constant exposure has created leaks. Last year on an Arenacross show, a rider got  sideways in the whoops, and I sputtered out a huckabuck of my own. I'm afraid the damn will burst again during this weekend's TV taping. Please, tell me what huckabuck means, and how I can stop it from appearing on the first five episodes of the 2012 AMA Arenacross Series on SPEED.

- Weege

• 
  HUCKABUCK!

Huckabuck doesn’t mean anything. It is a hillbilly slang expression for getting “kicked” out of control by your motorcycle. It was coined by a former racer from North Carolina and [sadly] resurrected by Jeff Emig spontaneously as his mind frantically searched for a word to describe a squirrelly rider during a broadcast. His cerebrum, racing for a word or term, recalled his former teammates catchphrase and out it came like whole kernels of corn in a master stream of influenza-induced projectile vomit.

Huckabuck has now infected you, Weege. It has crawled into your psyche like a mutant bacteria and you can either take this warning like an antibiotic and never speak it again or allow the yellowish-green mucus that is that phrase to be coughed up on a weekly basis during your arenacross broadcast. The choice is yours. I know you’ll do the right thing.

PING