My friend and I hope you can shed some light. We have just become interested in motorcross [sic], and decided we would get some dirt bikes and race. Here’s the question: My friend has been offered a used Yamaha 450 that the guy swears was raced by James Stewart when he won everything in 2007. When we looked at it, it has all the San Manuel graphics, and has every hop-up you can buy. The guy wants $6000 for it. Given that it has history do you think it should be raced or bought as an investment? We picked up Racer X in the supermarket newsstand and have been learning about motorcross online. You seemed to know a lot so thanks for any help.

Ben Doon
California

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  Wait, I actually have James' bike and semi that I can sell you if you're interested..

You’ve got to pull your head out of your ass a bit, Ben. I know you are new to this and all but really, do you think that is actually James’ bike? Really? Sticker kits are available online just about anywhere and you can make your bike look just like any pro rider if you have the money and the ability to navigate the web like anyone with the proper number of chromosomes. And even if this were James bike, there is nothing about it that makes it a wise investment. Any good parts that were on it have been removed and you are simply buying a four-year-old 450 with a nice set of stickers. And it’s MOTOCROSS… no R in there. You get one freebie on that and then you will be mocked and ridiculed mercilessly. Welcome to the sport.

PING

Mr. Pingree,

I was wondering, with the recent Ryno power vids out there is there any chance Ryno can incorporate the shake weight into one of his workout videos for us? Or will we just have to watch him roll his head around some stupid kick ball? Your thoughts, please.

Sincerely,

Brian (still 2smoking in CT)

You’re a big Shake Weight fan, huh? That thing is the Rollerblade of gym equipment so it takes a great deal of courage to admit that. Kudos. I’ve got to be honest here; I laughed a bit as I watched Ryno roll his sweaty face over that ball like he was making love to it. It was funny to me. But I’d rather do that in a public gym, shirtless, while moaning loudly than incorporate the Shake Weight into any type of exercise program. That thing is ridiculous. So, unless Ryno decides the Shake Weight is good for something, we can all just watch him handle his balls. That didn’t sound right, but you know what I mean.

PING

Ping,

Knowing that you are a true connoisseur of frozen goodness I ask you, how does Cold Stone make Birthday Cake Remix taste like actual Birthday Cake?

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  Yeah, that's neat but can you make ice cream?

If you only knew how many times I’ve sat at Cold Stone with a mountain of ice cream in front of me, eyes glazed over in reverence of the desert as I begin plowing through the sugary goodness like a snow clearing technician in Duluth, MN, wondering that same thing. I’ve had some good ice cream. Ben and Jerry are confectionary deity in my book but the concoctions I’ve strung together using the Birthday Cake Remix flavor would knock those two on their fat, Vermont cream-having asses. And so I’ve come to the simple and obvious conclusion that the flavor is derived from straight-up magic. I haven’t checked with David Blain on this yet but you would think if he could whip up something as amazing as BCR that he would have done it by now. There is some straight Merlin business going down at Cold Stone. Believe it.

PING