Ask Ping!
Friday, May 6, 2011 | 9:00 AM
ODI dates back to the 1980’s as the leader in grip manufacturing. Focusing primarily on the bmx and mountain bike industries through the 90’s and early 2000’s, ODI re-entered the motocross scene when they developed the patented lock-on grip system that eliminates wire and glue. Continuing to advance the way riders hold on to their bikes, ODI has worked closely with the teams they support such as Troy Lee Designs to create the product that is now being used by some of the top teams in the industry.
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Dear Ping a Ding Ding Dong,
My girlfriend of 6 years is 15 years older than me and she has a son who is 3 years younger than me. So, she is 41 and he is 23. Besides how weird it is, he seems pretty cool about it. He thinks it’s cool I ride and I rock out Supercross and Outdoors over gay ball sports. Well, a lot has changed since I lost my job. I've been spending more time at home and such. About two weeks ago, HIS girlfriend stopped by the house to get something she had left. Well, we started talking and next thing I know, Bam, we’re naked and, well, you know. I don't know how we ended up like that but it happened. Now she wants a relationship with me. What do I do? Do I trade in the old for some new OR do I stick around to see how bad it can get when they find out?
Thanks for your help Ping,
SuzOOki
This is pretty much how it will go down.
I’ll keep this short and sweet: Call Jerry Springer and get on his program. You are a dumbass.
PING
Hello David,
I was at the infamous Hangtown national in 1991 and did something that day I would come to regret; here I am twenty years later and it's something I still think about. Being a thieving dirtbag teenager was my specialty back then and I had been into motocross for a few years. Anyway, after the race had ended and I was walking back to the parking lot and noticed a helmet sitting on the tailgate of a truck...and stole it. Yep, I stole from a fellow rider, such a disgraceful act in retrospect. At that time, I had already been stealing all sorts of stuff for a few years; little did I know this one would end up being one of the most humiliating. For years I've wanted to meet the person I stole from and apologize, as well as offer a replacement. The odds of finding the person is probably one in a million after this much time, but I'd love any help I could get. With motocross being a fairly tight-knit community, I was hoping you might ask anyone you knew from the era? I doubt there were too many helmets stolen that day, but I'll withhold details for the time being.
Thank you,
Mike
Gotta be careful who you steal from these days.
I think we all did things as teenagers that we regret. In the case of the guy in question #1, sometimes we still do those things when we are 26. I think it’s classy that you are coming out with it and trying to make the situation right. I’m not sure if the poor helmet-less bastard whose spirit you broke that day reads this column, but if he does, perhaps he’ll send me an email. I will, in turn, get him in touch with you so he can verbally berate you for your juvenile behavior all those years ago. And then maybe, just maybe, you can start to forgive yourself. Or if it was a rider who became famous later on maybe you could get him to sign it and then sell it on eBay for a handsome profit? Capitalism is what makes this country great, after all. And if your conscience won’t allow you to keep the money, I’d like to suggest that you make a donation to The Pingree Foundation. This organization cares for children [mine] and funds educational trips [vacations] to historically and geologically significant locales around the country [Mammoth Mountain and Montana, typically]. It’s a great cause [for me].
Thanks in advance for your donation and good luck.
PING
Senor Pingree
In your vast experience have you noticed that dudes who ride dirt bikes are more likely to produce female offspring? The majority of the daddies I know who ride consistently all have tribes of mini fembots, myself included. Our desert campsites usually run at about a 10:1 ratio of girls to boys. I have a theory that when a guy rides dirt bikes enough, his huevos are vibrated in such a way that the girl-guppies are pushed to the front of the starting gate. It may sound ridiculous, however this theory has been proven to me over and over again. Have you noticed this?
Ben F. in Vista, CA
Yep, those are the colors right there.
I’ve noticed the same trend. I have two little girls to back this theory up, in fact. I always chalked it up to payback for the shenanigans I pulled with other guy’s daughters when I was in my teens and walking around with a perpetual boner. But there might be something legit to your theory. I’ve been riding for thirty years now, which is an excessive amount of vibration, and over time the wedding tackle has definitely taken some hits. After one particular stab with a Renthal 997 at the U.S. Open my man parts turned a shade of purple that I can only describe as the color that Violet Beauregarde turned in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when she ate the three course meal gum.When you think about it, we should just be thankful that we could have kids at all, right? See you at our girls’ ballet practice, Ben.
PING
Got a question for Ping? E-mail him at [email protected]
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Great articles Ping! Gotta love the breed of us motoRcrossers huh?!
That guy in the first one should dump his current one and see where the next one takes him, seems there is no future with gramma no more!
dump the first?! shes a cougar man! lose a cougar for a kid?! no sir! im 17 and depending on visuals,the 41 sounds like a darn good plan..
Too funny... He said Guppies
so true about motocrossers only producing girls , everyone i know who rides has girls as well, even myself. the future of womens motocross looks strong !
Is that Ping practicing unlocking his hips in that pic above?
So true about racers having girls I race/rode for 15 years and had my first child, of course wanted a boy, and had a girl. My brother raced for about 8 years before his first child and got a girl, 4 years later another girl, and after not riding for about 7 years he finally had a boy. So it takes about 5-8 years to start re producing the boys. Ha ha.
Hey Mike,
That was my helmet dude!!!
I rode latter that day without it, had a BIG crash & sustained a very bad head injury.
My medical bills caused by you stealing my helmet amount to $1.8 million dollars.
I would appreciate payment ASAP so I can move out of my cardboard box on the sidewalk, it's been a COLD winter!
My first is a boy and second is a girl. So that debunks the theory, unless it has something to do with the kind of bike you ride. The trend seems to be boys for the old school 500 guys and fems for the 4-stroke generation..........hmm.....might be something there.
Unless, as I have long suspected, the my boy does no belong to me because he is actually very athletic and pretty fast on a bike (unlike his so-called father). I always wondered why it took my wife so long to get that RC autograph all those years ago.
Hey I have a girl too!! Hmmmmmmmm
i have a girl- and when we camp it is mostly girls too...funny
This column induced nausea...
I don't know about the girl thing. I have been riding all my life. For a few years before I met my wife I did take a "Purple Haze" hyadus from the sport and my first is a girl.... Gorgeous, not fat or pimply at all as I had prayed for once I knew we were having a girl. Too boot she is smart as a whip and has the mouth to prove it... After she was born I began riding alot again and my second was a boy. He is all boy but sort of a retard. Ok not sort of a retard... ALL Retard! The kids an idiot but he loves to ride and soon will be much faster than me. Many of my friends that ride have retarded boys as well... all fast riders mind you, just complete and utter fools! Maybe we should all wear cups when we ride. 1... to protect us from the impending doom of female teenagehood and 2... to protect society from the rash of moronic male mini me's that will be unleashed upon them in the coming years.
An unemployed man whore, a disconcerted thief, and a theory that riders shoot only XX chromosomes...I can only imagine how lame the other letters must've been this week for these to rise to the top.
Why are people writing to Ping for advice on infidelity, pilfering, and birth? What is this Ask Dr. Ping?
best group of 3 Ping questions I can remember. Funny stuff. I have boy-girl-boy, but I'm a pretty conservative rider; maybe i haven't endured as much vibration as others.
And as far as whether to go with the new meat that cheats or stay with the cougar, Ping is right - you are screwed. So you may as wel ltap both until it falls apart. Try to get those tramps to chow some box while you watch the Vegas race this weekend and drink beer. You're welcome.
Good response to the first letter...what an idiot. You know what they say...God gave men two heads, but not enough blood to use them both at the same time. Seems like SuzOOki is the case study for this theory.
FoyBoy517, really? You would want ANOTHER mom? Don't you and your mom sit in awkward silence while watching TV, seething underneath at the fact that she's cramping your style enough already? And you want more of that? You're nuts. Give me the 23 year old any day!
Agreed, FoyBoy needs to get both his heads checked out, definately not thinking straight.
One girl also!!
I had 2 boys,...but I crashed alot ...... wonder what it all means?
3 BOYS on this side. Only one has any brains. Whats up with that. They are all very good riders, but when it come time to turn a wrench 2 of them suffer.
I've been ridin since I was five and guess what... I have 2 girls, no boys!!!
Maybe there is a little truth to it?
when the first writer dumpes his girlfriend for the young hotti send the couger my way !!!!!!!
Re. fembots- i too have 1 daughter and have riden my whole life. the "female sperm swim at a constant speed in 4th gear, 3/4 throttle. Male sperm come out of the gate wide open upshifting to 5th, but then slowing down to 3rd gear, 1/4 throttle. The trick is to get wifee doggy style allowing semen to be deposited closer to the cervix, making a shorter trip to get to the fallopian tubes and drive that your rod home... lmao.. enjoy and good luck!
The name "JAIRTIMESUCKS" made me laugh out loud in my office!! Thanks for that now off to VEGAS!!
Think about it, the 41 year old might be settled into a decent job by now. this guy lost his job. If he wants to continue to be active in this sport, even after he goes back to work, her working sure makes that easier. If she is hot that helps.
Jerry Spring,HAHAHAHHAHAH! I was racing once and the bike in front of me threw up a big rock and cut me on my Williamhead.That hurt!
way to go suzooki, ya r-tard, either way you go its gonna be an awkward christmas...
To have girl's, You had to race with Drum brakes at one point, and the for sure way, is to race a air cooled, twin shock. Yep that would do. I also agree, I thought it was a pay back for my
youth, with the girls! I look at it now as I know what you are thinking boys, and I know all the little tricks.......... so meet my new shot gun boys!
And yes there is pay back, like standing in line with a nice new PINK TUTU , and a moto buddy walks up and says hi, nice tu tu! O but some of those BRAT DOLLS are way cooooool!
I have two daughters and i've said for a long time that i took way to many "nuts to the tank" shots to produce anything but female squigglies....oh well they like to ride too!
To me, the Pingree Foundation sounds as noble as it comes. At least we r not getting our chains pulled on where and how the donations r spent.
I dont have any kids at all, but I sure do have to pee often it seems. Sorry TMI.
strange for sure. no doubt.
mykidsmechanic-
I've been riding with my son since he was 4 & spent most of those years slowing down so he could keep up with me. He's 17 now and on a CR125 and no matter how hard I try, I can't catch him on my CR250.
I'm proud of the kid, but it actually sucks pretty bad...
I think Ping has it right, ya we all want our Boy to take over the bike when we have kids, and yes I have a daughter too. But when Ping said it's pay back for shananigans he is dead on. I was a d*ck to way too many innocent young lasses and it may be time for paybacks. I would still like for my daughter to want to ride someday, time will tell. Keep the emails coming Ping. Late
Ping, I agree with a the readers, the first guy should keep riding both and see where it leads, best thing for this Pornstar is to get get kick in the Nards, and maybe he'll find out one if it will produce a girl, or another Pornstar who will be like Daddy-O... I bet getting kicked in the Nards with some Stiletto Hi-Heels, is worse than taking a Nard shot from the gas tank...At least the tank shot is a one-time deal, where the Hi-Heels will keep kicking..
RC got 1 of each in his 1st go at it .... if i remember correct....
The third / last article really made me think about two things my Father said when I was younger. First was, "I hope you have a kid just like you!" (to which I replied, "Dad, how can you say that, I thought you loved me??"), the second was, "with a boy, you worry about one wenis, with a girl, you worry about ALL of 'em". My dad has literally THOUSANDS more little morsels of wisdom like those nuggets.
As for the second article, good for you Mike, we all make mistakes, it's how we deal with them that define us as people. Giving a shizz about yourself & your actions is a step towards the light, my friend.
When the 2012 supercross schedule came out a week or so ago, all the east cost guys were pissed becasue 5 races are in CA. Well most of the outdoor is EASTCOAST. Outdoor is by far much more fu to watch than supercross! So quit bit**ing.
2 boys, 1 girl...and still ride almost every day, gravel pit, the woods or on a pitbike "track". But seldom on real bikes, just 4T's...maybe that's helping. All 3 are still small, but so far the first has truckloads of natural talent with only sporadic interest, the second has loads of pitbull genes complete with the poor judgement factor, and the last one is too small to even try yet, but is already clearly smarter than even her parents. LoL