Ask Ping!

Ask Ping!

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Hi Ping,

I live in the Land of 10,000 Lakes, which is also the Land of Sky Blue Water, and therefore know a thing or two about Minnesota. Here’s the question: Do you think it’s possible that our reigning champ is doing his best to win the title again with the least amount of financial burden to Suzuki? I do think he is that considerate.

Thanks,

Chris Brunholzl

 

 

  • I've bankrupt Suzuki with Dungey bonuses and disgraced my family.
Dear Chris,

Ryan is a genuinely nice and considerate young man. In 2010, he surpassed all expectations of him, including Suzuki’s expectation. They probably had his bonuses set quite high because, after all, that would be the safest way to get him to sign. Then he won, like, a hundred races and both titles and the boss at Suzuki probably had to fall on a sword for green-lighting that contract. It’s the honorable thing to do, after all.

I don’t know if Dungey is just being nice this year while trying to keep himself in the points with seconds, thirds and fourths but it has been working; he could win this thing. He’ll have to be inconsiderate and win a race or two to get this title though.

PING

 

Dear Ping,

I recently read an article about the uproar caused by a J Crew catalog picture of a mom painting her 4 year-old son's toenails pink. It appears to have a lot of people very upset about gender roles in America. Can you tell me, has the wearing of pink or other "effeminately-colored" riding gear ever confused a rider about his sexuality? Is Stewart still straight? And how about Damon Bradshaw? And Broc Glover before him? Or Greg Crater? Those guys were all rockin the Pretty in Pink look for a while. Do any of them now cross-dress when off the track? I sometimes wear yellow gear. Should I be worried I am going to catch gay?


Steve

 

Dear Steve,

You know, when I say your name with a lisp it sounds gay. I’m not sure if that’s anything to worry about, just something I noticed. We have a really bad habit lately, as a country, to overcorrect and overreact. Instead of using common sense and practicing moderation our knee-jerk reaction is to, well, overreact. It’s like driving on an icy road and instead of calmly steering into the skid when we break loose, we throw the wheel to the left, stomp the brakes and send ourselves right into the ditch. Is painting your son’s toenails pink going to alter his sexuality? Not likely. But having parents so weird that they paint their boy’s toenails pink because they think it’s funny is another story altogether.

Damon and Broc have both been married for a long time. If they are using their wives as a “beard” they are really going the extra mile. James is still single but, unless Sorby isn’t telling me something, he’s still playing for our team. It sounds to me like you might be a little worried about yourself. Well, if you do find yourself snuggled up to another guy at some point there are a few things to look forward to. If he’s your size, your wardrobe doubles instantaneously. You’ll no longer have to watch
Desperate Housewives and you can come home from riding, grab a cold drink and post up on the couch to watch the races on TiVo. All you really have to get over is one thing. Just one thing. Good luck with that.

PING

 

Ping,

First of all I would like to say you are the true 101 in my book. I would also like to give you a complementary reach-around for your level-headed calls and quick witted retorts; there is no one better in the business out there, no s*&t!  I heard the other day someone refer to Chad Reed's "Two Two Motorsports Team" as the "Double Deuce.” Well, that sent my mind reeling back in time to the movie
Road House and the bar in that flick was called the Double Deuce, and I can still hear Sam Elliott referring to it as the "Double Douche!” My problem now is I can't seem to get Reed's teams new name ("Double Douche") out of my head, I am even imagining Double Douche on his jerseys and pants, what can I do to get that logo out of my head! Please help!

Oh, one other thing, the other 101 Ben Townley should give up his day job because his soft goods can't seem to handle his hard drive.


Regards, M.E. Bolin

 

 

  • Did you say your team name was Double Deuce? Hey, you know what we should call it?...
Dear M.E.,

Great… now I can’t get it out of my head. I’m picturing you in the stands with a Chad Reed tee shirt on and one of those beer-dispensing helmets. Only instead of beer you are loaded up with, you guessed it, a pair of Massengill bottles. You are the Team Double Douche mascot. This isn’t going to be good for you and Reed fans are going to be mad at me for perpetuating the Roadhouse-inspired team name. Let’s just refer to his team as Chad Reed Racing, okay?

P.S. Don’t talk trash about Townley. That’s my boy. And, yes, my number is still on loan to him.

PING

 

Got a question for Ping? E-mail him at ping@racerxonline.com.

 

 

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