Ask Ping!

November 19, 2010 9:30am | by:

Dear Ping:

I just read where Pastrana is going to Nascar. I think that is GREAT! It will be good for Nascar and better for Travis as I always thought he was nearing his 9th life with all the Nitro Circus stunts. Question is, how long will it take before he tries to backflip his car during a race?



If you ain't first, you're last. Thumbs up Ricky Bobby!

Dear George,

I don’t think Travis is going to flip his car but he will most certainly be flipped off in his car. I believe that will happen the very first time he’s on a track with some of the older, more experienced drivers. I do not doubt Travis’ abilities; he can do just about anything he puts his mind to. I just think that his stomp-on-the-throttle-and-see-what-happens technique is going to bring him face-to-face with the fencing around the track in a hurry. Of course, once he throws a big thumbs-up out the window and trots through the pits making friends with everybody he’ll be as big in that sport as he is in the motocross world. I’m stoked for him, personally. I’m just wouldn’t sit in any of the bottom rows at the exit of a corner when he’s racing.



First off I feel I need to stroke your.....ego? That seems to get me a better shot at getting a reply. I don't really need to make the mag but a response with merit would help. So, for the second damned time I will ask you....What the frick happened to Paul Carpenter? I am a NY native and have been pretty involved with the racing scene. From what I hear he has taken to re-selling mx bikes and has taken a job with the local "Town Highway Department"...I can appreciate his willingness to find a job that has great bennies and the odds of not being wrapped in plaster for 8-10 weeks a year are much better mowing the roadsides and strategically placing "Caution When Slippery" road signs. But correct me if I am wrong (and I am sure you will) he had the skills to be at least a top 5 kind of guy from what I am seeing lately. Shed some light on this will ya?

PS: Knowing your sense of humor, I would really like to break your balls and call you a ho-ho chasin’, bike breakin', washed up MX'er. But I truly enjoy your view, rants and bluntness to most if not all the stupid fu*#s that you reply to. You're a class act, you have made a mark within the industry and traveling with a pretty fast New Yorker by the name of Bruce Stratton (shameless plug) to the nationals for many summers I can appreciate what you have accomplished on the track in your career. Well done, shorty! Don't tear me up too bad for spelling, punctuation and whatever else you can find or I am gonna swipe a finger full of pooh across your stethoscope or whatever else that you will be carrying in your fag bag when you become a ....what is it you're gonna be again? A nurse?

Take care buddy and hope to hear from you shitbird.


Wow. Thanks for the passive/aggressive mind-humping there. One minute you are calling me a wuss that needs written hugs to get through the day, then you compliment me and then you sign off with an insult and some name-calling. I’m not sure what to think so I’m just going to answer your question. And don’t think that the reason I answered this email is because you "stroked my ego," because I engage in a pretty aggressive daily affirmation program, ala Stewart Smalley, which takes care of those needs.

Paul Carpenter made a good run at it. He was talented, fast and a genuinely nice guy. But this sport doesn’t pay you for any of those things. He was one of the top privateer riders his last few seasons but by the time you pay for all the travel, entries, bikes, parts, etc. you pretty much blow through that massive wad of purse money you earned (last part said with heavy sarcasm and an eye-roll). There are only a handful of rides available and if, for one reason or another, you don’t get one then it’s difficult to continue. Paul made a tough decision that you are going to be seeing more and more riders make in the next few years: He moved on. You can only chase the dream so long and if you can’t make ends meet or the fire goes out it is time to do something else. I’m not sure what he’s doing now but from your description he is working for the local government’s highway department. For a guy who spent his whole young life on the road there is probably something nice about just putting some roots down and working 9 to 5 like the rest of the world. I hope Paul’s happy and doing well.

Thanks for the letter, pal, and now go screw yourself. (I’m kidding?)



How much free time do you have on your hands to come up with all of these random pictures and what do you search in Google? I mean, how bored were you and what were you searching when you found the Pillsbury Doughboy picture from last week?

Marcus #83

Dear Marcus,

  • Even Einstein uses him!
The creative process is difficult to explain. There’s a period of contemplative time, which typically transitions into research and then selection. The whole cycle can take anywhere from five to six days to complete. Occasionally I’ll send photo requests to several different think-tanks who, in turn, analyze my request and respond with either a series of ink-blot photos for their own assessment or one of the many deep, profound photographs that you see posted in this column. They credit a highly decorated professor at their facility for the many photos they provide me with. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting him yet but I’m honestly thrilled to do so. His name is Dr. Serge Goo-gel`. The guys always laugh when they say his name but I don’t get the joke. Anyway, I hope this has enlightened you regarding the intricate process of Ask Ping! Photo selection.



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