Ask Ping!Friday, November 5, 2010 | 10:03 AM
Howdy Ping...I don't really have a question, but more of an observation. Actually, it's my girlfriend's observation and it is this...Tony Cairoli's girl is hot. Him, not so much, but I guess I'm pretty ugly too, so it's no big deal. Just saying...hahahhahaha. I kinda don't like him, though, as he was talking s#!t about Dungey and that just ain't right...Dungey is a much better rider. That's it, Ping.
Keep up the good work...
The real kicker here is that Tony is incredibly handsome in Europe. They like their guys with dark hair, dark skin, and marinated in enough Givenchy cologne to gag a French, well, you know. Here in the States girls have a different idea of what is attractive in a man. I did a little research over the weekend to find out exactly what that is. According to a very informative program on a musical television program, and its stars in Seaside Heights, New Jersey, women want a juice monkey. According to two of the ladies named Snookie and J-Woww, a man is good looking if he is tanned to a leathery brown, rippling with steroid-enhanced muscles and bursting at the seams with testosterone, rage and ego. I’ve already ordered my own tanning bed.
I must say I do enjoy your weekly replies and moto wisdom. Once upon a time I was reading one of your competitors magazines and noticed an interview of Jeff Alessi it all seemed interesting enough until the interviewer ask the tough question "what is your fondest memory?" to which Jeff replied "when Mike won his first race, we were all pretty stoked for him." I guess my question is what kind of strange family dynamic is at work if a racer of pro abilities fondest moment in life is seeing his brother win? After a statement like that you have to wonder if Jeff was beating Mike by a position in a race if he would let Mike by at the finish line?
Also in your moto wisdom do you remember a mid 90's picture of Jeff Emig riding a YZ125 at the Motocross Des Nations where he railing a loamy berm with his feet on the pegs and his bars dragging in the dirt? It was a sweet pic and I would love to see it again.
As much as I admire the Alessi’s work ethic and commitment to success, they have some very real sociological issues going on within their family. Here’s a question I would love to ask the family in an interview: Let’s say your airplane crashed in the mountains and your family and immediate crew were the only survivors. Whom would you eat first in order to stay alive? Here’s how I think the answers would go:
Tony: That’s easy. We would eat Jeff. He has nine percent body fat so his meat would be juicier and tenderer when roasted over an open flame. Plus, Mike has championships to win and Danielle wouldn’t be able to clean his goggles and stuff if we ate her, right? It just makes sense.
Mike: I’d eat roots and berries to stay alive and if I were still hungry I would pretend that the airplane was Josh Grant and I’d eat that. I saw a guy do that once on Ripley’s Believe it or Not.
Danielle: Eeeeww, gross. Probably Tony. Wait, is he going to see this? Put down Jeff. Wait, screw it… say Tony.
Jeff: Oh, me for sure. It would be really cool to know I made Mike a good meal.
That’s how I think it would go anyway. And that photo you are talking about was from the MxoN in Manjimup, Australia back in the day. Check it out below.
Got a question for Ping? E-mail him at [email protected].
Share this article:
Did you like this article?
Check out THE DARK KNIGHTin our Latest issue of Racer X available now.
Tyler Bowers has become a star on the Amsoil Arenacross circuit, but the often-controversial racer just hit another peak—a surprise win at the 2013 Las Vegas Supercross. Page 148.