First of all, thank you for your service to this country. I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for the folks serving in our armed forces. If my memory serves me correctly I vented a little bit about my discontent for your current employer in a recent magazine article. This shouldn’t offend you because, honestly, you had nothing to do with any of the bad experiences I’ve had with United. It’s just that I’ve spent so much time in DIA due to delayed or cancelled flights this summer that they named a terminal after me. And the rocket scientist that transfers baggage mistook Washington (Dulles) on my bag tag for Bangladesh and sent my underwear and toothbrush on a little trip around the world.
I realize that you have no control over these things, but when they continue to happen it gets frustrating. And I know that it happens with every airline, but I flew on United a lot this summer and it wasn't a pleasant experience. On a bright note, there is a sweet little old lady that works at Hagen Daz in the new Pingree terminal that will give you an extra scoop of Cherry Garcia if you wink at her and call her sweetheart. Please stop by the next time you get delayed and give her a hug for me.
Were you and Curtis Painter from the Colts separated at birth? Just Wondering.
Your help is much appreciated.
First, let me be the first to apologize for our current president. The country got all warm and fuzzy feeling over a couple of campaign slogans and before we could stop hugging we had elected a man who may or may not be an American and who certainly has no business running this or any other country. Hang in there for a couple more years and maybe we can pull our collective heads from our asses.
The Iraq war is about liberating the, um... no, it's because we are still looking for, uh...I'll have to get back to you on that one.
Twitter is another way to keep people up to date with all the mundane and insignificant events in your life. Just sign up. They won’t stop bugging you until you just sign up.
You will notice the younger generation wearing V-neck shirts and really, really tight girls pants. There is no good explanation for this. Just try to ignore it and maybe it will go away.
Thankfully, the Taco Bell menu remains largely unchanged. They might have a few new items but they are constructed using the same eight or nine ingredients they use on everything else. God bless Taco Bell.
You might also notice that James Stewart isn’t a racer anymore; he just plays one on TV. The advent of Bubba’s World and a bad wrist injury have provoked people to take shots at James all year long. See my previous sentence as an example.
Ryan Dungey is the new fastest man on the planet. Yeah, I know what you are thinking: "Wait, didn’t he crumble a couple years ago and lose a title to Jason Lawrence?"
The answer is yes. But he has been channeling his inner Ricky Carmichael and he hasn’t really lost since then.
Oh, and Jason Lawrence went to jail for biting his buddy’s ear off, got out and now only attends the nationals for the parade laps; and he is sponsored by a company that sells energy nuts. Yup, energy nuts.
Okay, hope that helped you a little bit. Now go pick up some volcano nachos, sit down with your TiVo and get caught up on the past few season of racing. You do know what TiVo is, right?
Got a question for Ping? E-mail him at email@example.com. You can also support Ping's Taco Bell habit by purchasing one (or three) of his Motocross 101 DVDs at www.motocross101.com.