Ask Ping!

November 13, 2009 11:10am | by:
  • Think these guys just sat around and asked for free money? Maybe. But when they didn't get it they hustled apples.

I am wondering if you can get the word out for me. I am looking for someone to donate a bag of money to me. It doesn't have to be a fancy bag or anything. Heck, even a brown paper sack would work fine, as long as it is large, like the ones you used to get at a grocery store way back when. I would prefer 100's or 50's, not too picky which ones. Thanks for helping out.


Dear C,

Really? I know this has become the mantra for most young Americans these days: Hey, hook me up with everything I need because I deserve it. It’s that entitlement mentality that is rotting this country’s core. Sometimes I’m glad our economy is in the crapper. I believe that the Great Depression produced the greatest generation that produced the greatest nation. Since that time we have done nothing but screw things up and we have nobody to blame for this but us. Maybe this little “downturn” will open our eyes to how good we really have it. And maybe instead of thinking that we are all guaranteed happiness in this country we will realize that we are only guaranteed the pursuit of happiness; you still have to get off your lazy ass and make it happen. Or, you know, maybe you were just joking around and I went off on a tangent. Either way, you’re welcome.


  • Huffy looks fit and prepared to represent the stars and stripes.
Ping –

You’ve been my guy since one of the other moto mags suggested out loud that you’d be better off getting a college degree. I don’t know if you ever did. Regardless, I dig your writing style and always pulled for you on the track. Only you can answer this question, the one your eager fan base has been afraid to ask you since 1913: Why has the US never won an ISDE? Looking back at the results since ’85 I recognize some of the names on the winning rosters for other countries, but c’mon, Poland? East Germany? Have we not dirt here in the good ol’ US? Have we not trees and mud holes? Have we not timekeeping devices? Do we not have our own enduro champions?

You have to straighten us out!

Dick Burlson for President,

Tom Allen

Dear Tom,

Thanks for the support over the years. You know, I’m still working on that degree to this day. And I just smile when I think about the three supercross races I won after that old fart told me that I would be better off going back to school. Now to your question: I have no idea why we can’t win that ISDE thing. We do indeed have dirt, trees, timekeeping devices and mud holes here at home. And we have some of the most talented off-road riders in the world. It just doesn’t seem like we make as big of an effort as we could. Do we send our champions from GNCC and WORCS over there for it? If we made it a priority I have no doubt that we could win it. Our riders made motocross and supercross the priority and that shows in the results. Can you say reigning MXoN champions? Reigning supercross champion? Maybe we should just send Stewie, RV and Dungey to the next ISDE? I’d watch that.


  • The last two-stroke holdout. I love this guy.

I have been noticing something lately: It appears to me that there is a slight increase in the number of two-strokes showing up at the local tracks. I have even purchased a low-mileage 2005 YZ250 myself. Do you think that there are some guys out there, some being 'vets' like me, who feel the need for a bit more thrust than a 250F produces, but don't need or desire the weight and brutal horsepower of a 450? I have been riding four-strokes since the 1998 YZ400F, and SWORE I'd never buy another two-stroke again, but the four-strokes are just getting so darned expensive! Have you noticed such a phenomenon in your area?  What are your thoughts?

Dennis Eaton
Imperial MO

Dear Dennis,

I have noticed it! The other night I went to Perris Raceway and I was stunned to see that nearly every rider on the track was riding a two stroke! The sweet sound and smell of the nostalgic machines was enough to put a smile on my face.

“Finally,” I thought to myself. Finally people are realizing what I’ve been suggesting all along. Two-strokes are just as fun, less expensive and easier to work on than these wallet-draining thumpers. We would have been better off as a sport and community if we hadn’t guzzled the four-stroke Kool Aid that was over-served to us by the manufacturers like a type-A cocktail waitress in a Las Vegas casino. After I geared up that night and spent thirty minutes or so prepping my bike to do some motos I sauntered over to the fence to watch a few of the pre-mixers race by. That’s when I realized it was mini bike-only night. Ah, crap.