Ask Ping!


  • G.L. Joe?

I read your "Ask Ping" feature sometimes, which I find quite funny. I, like you, am a Christian Conservative, so I receive chain emails that are pro-American and supportive of our troops on a regular basis. Normally I'm too busy working so I don't open these emails, but I did this time. I'm glad I did because, to my surprise, I saw Grant Langston holding Iraqi kids in Iraq. I didn't know South Africans were allowed in the US military…what a trip.

P.S. I hope you've picked up a copy of Mark Levin's new best selling book, "Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto". If not, please do. The Statist are not only coming for our beloved sport, they're coming for our very life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

Danny Woodard

Dear Danny,

It’s great to hear from you. Sometimes I think that I’m taking crazy pills over here in California because there aren’t many people that share my opinions. Common sense is an afterthought here in the land of fruits and nuts. The D-bags up in Sacramento are so spun out about the migratory path of the Capistrano swallows, welfare and the fact that gays can’t be legally married that they have no time for anything that actually matters. I’m all stocked up on disgust when it comes to our government right now but I’ll check out the Levin book anyway.

The photo you sent tells us a lot about what GL has been up to. He told us all he had eye cancer so he could sneak in a tour of duty and protect the country that he now calls home. What a guy. Danny, thanks for writing and take care.


  • so true.

Let’s have a compliment sandwich here. Great job on the team this year, its good to see you succeed in such a big task. And I love reading your column every week. Now, What’s the deal with this curse of 450 standouts and knee injuries? James jacked up his knee two years ago, and then Villopoto did it and now Alessi? Maybe if I'm lucky, Reed will catch on fire and then bum out his knee too. I'm sure you wished that something like this had happened for you too, huh? Then again I guess you never made it to the then 250 class... Haha I'm just messing. By the way you have been looking fantastic lately. That couch diet has been doing wonders for your midsection! Oh, wait, this is compliment time... Your wife is a fox! Good work! :)       

Teddy Glaser    
Lincoln, Nebraska

Dear Teddy,

What the hell kind of letter was that? You give me a little pat on the back and then kick me in the testicles? Don’t you know that, despite the fact that I dish it out with the best of them, I cannot take criticism? This just might send me into a shame spiral that culminates with me eating several pints of Ben and Jerry’s while wrapped naked in a comforter on my couch. But I guess you already knew that. Thanks for helping me to hate myself even more. Look, Teddy, knees are a terrible design. God is probably going to blow me off my ice cream stained couch with a bolt of lighting for saying this but it’s true. It’s like stacking an anvil on top of a baseball bat that sits on top of a tennis ball, which sits on yet another baseball bat. And all of it is just held together with rubber bands. That’s what your upper leg, knee joint and lower leg would look like if it was diagramed in a cartoon. Now go flying into deep, sticky ruts all day at speed with that flimsy extension protruding, come up short on 100’ jumps and do it all on a tight track with 39 other guys around you and see how many rubber bands you snap. It’s a miracle that half the field isn’t getting an ACL replacement right now. It’s a fact that every two seconds an ACL is torn in this country. Actually, I just made that up right now but it could be true. Okay, gotta go. There’s a pint of Chunky Monkey in the freezer calling my name.



    A mister-know-it-all down at service Honda said yam will no longer make the 2 stroke after 2010?  What do you hear?


    ron kaminsky

    Dear Ron,

    It’s all pretty simple, Ron. Yamaha is running a business. If they aren’t making money with a product then they aren’t going to continue to make it. How many Yamaha two-strokes do you see around, Ron? I don’t see that many. It was a valiant effort by the boys in blue to keep the dream alive but I don’t know if it was enough. The people have spoken and they want to pay more money for a bike that is heavier and much more expensive and complicated to maintain and repair. We’re not a very clever group. Get all your friends to buy YZ125’s and maybe you can still save it.