Ask Ping!

May 1, 2009 8:38am | by:


How’s it going? Dude, r u as sick of hearing about twitter as I am? Where in the hell did this crap come from?! Like anyone cares what people are doing every hour on the hour. I can see how it may be beneficial for traveling buddies, certain business issues, etc., but give me an effing break. 2 months ago I had never heard of it. Now, Larry King, Ashton Kutcher, Mario Lopez, and everyone else in the free worldacts like it's the Holy Grail. I'm so burned out on hearingthe word twitter! Overkill is an understatement.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent a little and I'm hoping u'll go off on this as I'm sure ur as clueless as to what the actual point is of twitter as i am.

By the way, I'm impressed with u and ur team. It seems ur doing a great job.Keep up the good work!


p.s. free j-law

  • Hey, here's a Tweet! ... I don't give a crap.
Dear Jimmy,

Thanks for the compliment on the team. We have an amazing group of people working in our race shop and I think we are going to continue to impress people. It’s funny that you mention Twitter because I was just listening to Ryan Seacrest go on and on about it the other day on the radio and I couldn’t understand the point of it. Apparently, from what I gather, it’s just a bunch of verbal diarrhea about any and everything that happens to a person throughout the day. And each of these pointless expressions are called “Tweets.” Wow. That is the most obtuse, self-serving bunch of horse crap I have ever heard of. Could this collective society be any more in love with itself? We already have Facebook and MySpace pages so we can show photos and videos of ourselves doing all kinds of cool things to impress whomever it is we try to impress. Now we can follow any person’s journey through each and every single day. Guess what? I really don’t give a crap. I’m not interested in my own life enough to spend the time to set up these self-worship websites and there’s no way I’m taking the time to tell the few nut-jobs that are crazy enough to sit around and read about every single detail of my day, every single detail of my day. These people spend so much time telling and showing everyone what they are doing that they don’t have any time to go out and actually do anything. Look, folks, this crazy train has officially derailed. I don’t give two squirts of piss what Oprah did last weekend at home with her live-in boyfriend. I don’t care what cool new restaurant Ryan Seacrest ate at over the weekend. And when James Stewart “tweets” that he just got back to his hotel after the race and gives his two cents about how his night was… you guessed it- I don’t care. Just because we have the technology to do something dumb like Twitter, doesn’t always mean we should.

P.S. They’ll free your precious J-Law when he stops breaking the law. Pretty simple, really.


Dear Mr. Ping,

To enhance my supercross viewing experience, I have put together a 30-second girl outfit for my wife, and made her some signs to carry around at the appropriate times as I watch the race on TV. However, I have a problem. I cannot determine the exact type of pantyhose the vixens wear. Could you find out the source of them for me? I need specifics, please. I think the 30-second girls are missing a great opportunity by not having factory sponsors and endorsements, like gloves, boots, pantyhose, etc, you get the idea.



Dear Woody,

I applaud your commitment to making the supercross experience as real as possible. I can’t believe your wife agrees to do it, and liberated women across the globe are shaking their heads in disgust, but I applaud you nonetheless. I don’t have any idea what brand of clothing the girls are/aren’t wearing but your best bet is to ask a stripper. They probably frequent the same establishments.

P.S. Do you see the irony in dressing your wife up like that and calling yourself Woody? Just curious.


Long time fan and reader. Having been to a few supercross races and dozens of outdoor moto events I have noticed that lately top guys do not celebrate the same as back in the day after a first place finish. Used to be after every win a rider would toss a set of goggles into the crowd, and after a really big win the helmet would go. Has the economy been so bad that riders are now holding on to these to later sell on Ebay, or does this stuff just not get shown on T.V. anymore?

Thanks man.
John Beales

  • Smile... Check. Thank dog and girlfriend.... check. Thank sponsors... uh-oh.
Dear John,

I’ve seen a few goggles get tossed this year but it does seem like that trend has slowed down. I think the big problem here is that we see the same guys on the podium every weekend. They are used to winning, or at least being on the podium, and they take it for granted. If you put a few new guys up there I can guarantee you they would be walking back to the pits with just their knee braces and boots on. I’d like to see some more enthusiasm too. I want to see a guy so psyched out of his mind by his podium finish that he’s streaking across the stadium floor naked like Will Ferrell in Old School. Okay, maybe not that psyched. I’ll pass the word along to my guys… the first thing they have to do if they get on the podium is throw out their gear to the fans. Then they have to get on the mic and thank their girlfriend and their dog.