Ask Ping!

  • Body of a woman, mind of a child
Hey Ping ,

Don't hate on the Monster 30-second girls just because they are taller than you! You say they are dumb, but everyone uses the gifts they have to make a living. If a smart guy who can't huck a big triple becomes an engineer to make a living, do you make fun of him? What about a guy that can haul on a bike, but is so dumb he couldn't spell CAT if you spotted him the C and the A (note to Ping...look in mirror)? Do you make fun of him? Whoops, I guess I just did. Why should you look down (figuratively, we know you can't literally) on a pretty girl because she uses the gifts God gave her to make a living?



Are you seriously trying to compare the typical, plastic spokes model to an engineer? That would be like Forrest Gump and Albert Einstein matching wits. Unless you’re talking about the kind of engineer that drives a train; in that case it might be a little closer. If a guy quits racing and gets an engineering degree I would congratulate him. That is a solid move for his future and a great addition to the American workforce. And I think your implication that I can’t spell cat is hilarious, especially since you misspelled “Oops.” You truly are an idiot. You prove that point by suggesting that God gave certain women appealing physical attributes so they can parade around like high-dollar hookers. I doubt that owning a short skirt and a bra that helps your boobs defy the laws of gravity would be considered a God-given talent by anyone. You, sir, are stupid. If you’re dating one of these girls, that’s fine. Just don’t try to convince yourself that you are dating a marketing genius with the business savvy of Warren Buffett.

P.S.- I get it, I’m short. You are so clever.


  • Good times and warm memories

Congratulations on your TLD deal, I'm glad to see things working out so well for you.  

Too bad you can't replace Ralph at Speed. You and Emig, or better yet you and Bailey, would be the ultimate combo. Why do they always put a racer that knows what he's talking about next to a broadcast guy that knows nothing? 

Besides the TLD congrats, I wanted to say I've been a fan of yours from when you were on Pro Circuit as well as when you broke your KTM in half (scary to see on TV). I have to say that you are my favorite writer at Racer X, which is a big deal because everyone there is really good. 

Well that is enough gayness for one night I'm going to go watch TV with my girlfriend.  Best of luck with your new job.


Dear Ron,

Thanks for the kind words, Ron. And while I appreciate your suggestion that Emig (or Bailey) and I would make a good broadcasting team, I don’t know if I agree. David, Jeff and I all worked as color commentators, not announcers, and there is a very big difference between the two positions. The talents required for each job are very different. The announcer is supposed to narrate what is going on during the event and fill time between races with sponsor plugs and tosses to various pieces. That is not as easy as you might think and you would have more respect for Ralph Shaheen if you sat in the booth during a taping. The color analyst is supposed to tell you why and how things are happening by drawing on his own experiences and understanding of the sport. So, to be an effective team you need to have people that excel in each position. The downside is that you rarely find an announcer that knows the intricacies involved in the sport of motocross. Likewise, not many former racers have the talent and polish required to make good announcers. So, for now, you might have to let it go when you hear that James Reed is winning races.


  • Dad, can I eat it when I'm done riding?
Dear Ping,

My 3 year old was hungry the other evening.  My wife was at the grocery store so I called her and told her to stop by the local dealership and buy a PW 50 so he could snack on the brake cables until dinner was ready. 

Are these a$$ho!es serious about the ban on minicycles?  I would love to know your thoughts!


Mike Baker

Scottsdale, AZ

Dear Mike,

This is typical Washington politics. The idea was to protect kids from cheap toys that are being produced in China. There are about 9 trillion Chinese people that will work an entire day for a bowl of rice, some water and a bowl of bugs cooked in a wok. Add to that the nonexistent quality standards over there and you end up with cheap children’s toys that are made of very dangerous materials. The idea was to force China (and other countries we import from) to up their standards and in turn protect our kids from dangerous materials. The bill had good intentions when it began. But instead of taking the time to be specific about what products should be included they did a blanket sweep and inadvertently screwed the motorcycle industry.

Intentions aside, did we really need this law? Mitch Payton was telling me the other day that he used to hold lead sinkers in his mouth while tying off his fishing hooks when he was a kid. And he turned out just fine, for the most part. And weren’t most baby cribs coated with lead-based paints until recently? We have a tendency to overcorrect here and this is totally typical. I believe that the smaller our government is the better. Mundane laws like this are made when the government thinks it needs to control everything. Don’t get me started, Ron. And don’t let your kid spoil his appetite by snacking on that mini bike for too long.