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Ask Ping!

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I was just wondering if you knew if Tyler Evans was coming back to racing or what he was doing now.

Chase Langille


  • They said it couldn't be done, but we found a photo of Tyler Evans with his shirt off
Dear Chase,

I haven’t talked to Tyler but I did hear from a marginally reliable source that he is now working for a charitable organization that builds and donates soft, fluffy teddy bears to underprivileged youth. It’s a tidy little non-profit that, despite it’s fantastic product, has remained very low-key. What I heard was that Tyler helps sew the button noses on and he also does PR work for the company. His employment has not gone without incident, however. From what I understand, according to my source, Tyler had a disagreement over the color of bows that should go on the Teddy’s head and he impulsively tore his shirt off and started flexing and growling like an ornery bobcat at his boss. Cooler heads prevailed though and after a chai tea and a hug he got back to work. Hey, that’s just what I heard.

PING


Dear Ping,

I'll be just one of many to say that I admire your work.  Now before your head swells so big that you cant walk out the door when you leave its time to give you your rating.  As a person who works in an office and goes through these ratings on a regular basis, I think I am qualified to assist in this matter.  The 3 topics you are going to be rated on are 1) Job Knowledge, 2) Interest Factor, and 3) Timeliness.  Starting with Job Knowledge I would have to give you a perfect score.  Obviously you have been around as long as anyone and know your Sh**.  For interest factor I'm going to again give you a perfect score, as you have a good amount of people (including myself) that enjoy reading your column.  One never knows the kind of response they will get from you as it could be serious, funny, ridiculous, or just down right cruel (especially when you pick on them quad riders), either way we love it!  The last rating is what is going to hurt this review.  It seems that you have difficulty getting your work done on time.  By on time I mean before I leave work on Friday, which is 3:45 CST.  I look forward to reading ask Ping every Friday and sometimes I don’t get to read it until Monday.  Sure it got posted sometime on Friday, but can't you get your work done a little earlier!  Now don’t go giving the excuse that your busy practicing/testing for supermoto….blah blah blah.  Lets try to bring this B+ score up to an A.

PS - I just got paid by my place of employment to do your review.  Now get back to work!

Kyle Bounds

Dear Kyle,

Oh, I am just so sorry that you were inconvenienced last week, Kyle. My primary focus in life is to please every last person on the planet and the fact that I somehow let you down is just eating away at me on the inside like spoiled Thai food. You see, I’ve been just a little busy trying to get a dirt bike race team ready for the first round of the series that begins in three weeks. On top of that I still have other duties here at Racer X Illustrated, two kids ages one and two, a wife that enjoys my company occasionally and to make all of it even more pleasurable I’ve had the flu for two weeks. But that’s no excuse not to have this column up at the exact same time every week. The last thing I want is for you to get your panties in a bunch because you had to wait an extra hour or two. I’ll work on my timeliness. In the meantime, howzabout you get your slacking butt back to work. I would hate for your boss to read this at around 3:45CST and realize that you have been recreating on company time.

PING


  • Le Dogger
Hey Ping,

I rode Kawi’s back in the ‘80’s and one of my favorite racers was Lechien.  I wore the “day glo” JT green and blue gear,  the V500 chest protector (even though my dad thought I should have back protection too), but I ended up buying an Answer helmet that looked like the ALS-2 probably because it was cheaper.  I tried to ride with same style and all.  I didn’t really copy his off track lifestyle so much though.  I still ride a 125, and actually use Maxima premix so I guess I’m still a fan. 

Anyway, I married my way into the EU to keep my options open in case our economy tanks completely and theirs stays intact.  Actually, she is French and I wouldn’t want to burden  you and the rest my fellow Americans, so in the event that I lose my job, I can go over there and live quite well, I think, milking their welfare program.

Here’s where it all comes together.  I’ve learned a little French over the past 10 years and I know that dog in French is Le Chien.  Did JMB give him his nickname, did he get at Bercy, or what?

Thanks for your time,
Chris Brunholzl 

Dear Chris,

Nice work on the French, Pepe Le Pew. You nailed it: Ronnie got his nickname at a race in France (I believe it was Bercy) because his name means “The Dog” in French. The funny part about the story is that for a while he didn’t know why they were calling him Dogger. Anyway, the pieces of the puzzle start falling into place now. Remember the Dalmatian spotted gear that he used in his JT days? Dalmatians are a breed of dog… Dogger… Lechien. You picking up what I’m laying down here, Brunholzl? Well, he was certainly a character and there will never be another guy like him.

Without diving back into the political minefield I will say that you’ve got quite a backup plan with the French wifey. Although, if you give the US a little more time, we might have a welfare program that rivals theirs soon. Merry Christmas, Chris, and I hope your wife shaves and uses deodorant and whatnot.

PING 
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