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Ask Ping!

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Dear Ping,

What is the story with this Matthes guy? I mean, everyone knows about his decades-old man-crush on Tim Ferry, but lately it seems that he wants to play "Smuggle the Ham" with half the gate. First it was Byrner, then he goes on a date with Nick Wey – all the way to Canuckistan, no less. The strange thing is, despite his obvious need for man-on-man love, I can't help but be attracted to his "Observations" column. It is oddly compelling and insightful. Does this make me gay (not that anything is wrong with that!)?

Mark
New York City


Dear Mark,
Not that there is anything wrong with that? Seriously? The thought of Steve Matthes and, well, anyone getting it on makes me want to pull a bottle of Drano out from under my kitchen sink and chug it. I think you’ve been living in the city too long, my man. I understand your confusion about Steve-O. I mean, we know he loves Tim Ferry... fine. But then came the bro-mance with Byrner and then Nick Wey and even Andrew Short. He’s Ferry’s nemesis, for Pete’s sake! I don’t know if he just really wants to be pals with these guys or if he is a flaming pickle-sniffer and his wife and dogs back in Vegas are just an elaborate beard. Either way, don’t feel bad about reading his column. He has some nuggets in there and most of the time it is mildly entertaining.

PING

Dear Ping, recently I posted on a forum that Bubba "invented" the scrub. Others stated he did not; he only perfected it. Which is true? I have only been following MX/SX for about 22 years. I've seen quite a few great ones ride, obviously, but until Bubba I had never seen THIS.

Anyway mon', take care and Thanks,
- Dan


Dear Dan,
I’ve seen the photo of Jojo Keller and other riders doing milder version of the technique that Bubbles has coined as the “Scrub”. Maybe what they were doing could be considered more of a brush or a light polish but it doesn’t even come close to scrubbing the way James does. Have you looked closely at this picture? The only place you would have seen a photo like this in the past is in the old Crash N’ Burn section of
MXA.

PING


Ping,

That portrait with the Selleck ‘stache is the cat’s behind. Do you know where I can pick one up, hopefully autographed?

Jason

Dear Jason,

It has also been referred to as the dog’s bollocks, but that is a matter of opinion. I’ve had a few requests for the Ping P.I. portrait this week and I’m getting to work on it. I’m getting them mass-produced and soon they’ll be in dealerships and lining the garages of motocross homes everywhere. Or at least the bathroom stalls of said dealerships. I think it exudes the same artistic aura of The Kramer portrait from the Seinfeld series. It is equally atrocious and magnificent and despite it’s horror you just can’t seem to look away. Save your money, Jason, they will be available soon.

PING

Got a question for Ping? E-mail him at ping@racerxonline.com.

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