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Ask Ping

Ping,
 
I have a really quick question for you. Why did Ryan Villopoto decide to celebrate his new lites championship by placing a large penis on his jersey? Picture is attached.

Thanks,
Ben from the beach


Dear Ben,
Um, I wish I had an answer for you, Ben…. I’ve looked at the jersey in several different photos and although it has a slight resemblance to a bullet, it is clearly a large, gold penis. The jersey is something that his sponsors would have put together for him so you can’t blame Ryan for this. And in the afterglow of his most recent title you can’t expect Ryan to inspect all of the various shirts and hats that were thrown on him as he made his way to the podium. I would guess that either Mitch is mad at Ryan for leaving his team at the end of the year and wanted to play an inappropriate practical joke on him, or the designer over at Thor is a big fan of the movie Austin Powers: Gold Member.

PING

Hey there, Pingster,
Long time reader, 1st time writer or something like that. Now that Toyota has a full year under their collective belt being the title sponsor for motocross, JGR, and a major sponsor of Supercross, do you know if they are satisfied with the results of all the exposure (massive amounts of cash)? I get a little nervous for the sport sometimes and I wonder where we would be as a sport right now without Monster and Toyota. I know bikes will always sell and people will always ride (at least my family will!!) but without these two major sponsors in a down economy does the series even run? These are very serious questions and when I put these issues in front of the wife along with a bunch of other rationalizations it only made sense for me to run out and get a shiny new Tundra. When the salesman/crook/grease ball asked me to fill out a questionnaire I knew exactly what to write in the box that read, "What forms of advertising did you see the vehicle in?" AMA Toyota Motocross/Supercross interactive displays of course!!!
As I drove away from the dealership with a poop-eating grin on my face I stopped at a gas station and picked me up a few Monster Javas for the week. Just doing my part, Ping.

Tundra lover in SoCal.
 
P.S. A little off-the-subject, but where in the hell did all these flat-bill tribes members come from? I've lived in California my whole life and I don't think they are an indigenous tribe. Someone needs to tell them they forgot to take the tags off AND they look like attention starved jackasses.

Dear Tundra Lover,
  • Thanks, Toyota!
I applaud your loyalty to the companies that truly do support the sport of MX and SX. I’m sorry that you had to deal with a car salesman and, as a result of your purchase, you will now have to deal with the DMV. Add in a trip to the post office and you have completed the world’s-biggest-idiots trifecta. Still, you can take comfort in the fact that you bought the best truck on the market. And when you hear that from a nationalistic, republican-voting, American flag-pin wearing guy like me, it means something. Sorry, GM, but sometimes the truth hurts.

There is no question that our sport would suffer without the backing of these and other great companies but it has run without title sponsorship before. I hope that we don’t have to cross that bridge any time soon and with patrons like you buying trucks and energy drinks we should be alright.

Now, the flat-bill, “bro” movement is a touchy subject with me. I’ve been called a bro just because I ride motocross and there is huge difference between a racer and a bro. If you aren’t sure what a bro is, or you want to learn more about this sub-set of human beings, check out www.flatbillers.com. It is the place I go to have a good laugh at the kooks walking around with flat bills (turned slightly sideways, of course, and with the sizing sticker still attached), black bro shirts, Famous belt, baggy shorts, black socks and skate shoes. In simpler terms…attention-starved jackasses.

PING


Dear Almighty Ping,
Good friends of mine are about to tie the knot, and of all places, at a motocross track, in their gear. They both race and met at the track. I think it's the most moto-romantic thing I've ever heard. But I'm having trouble figuring out what to get them as a wedding gift. I can't help but think some of the traditional wedding gift fare is completely out of the question. Any unique ideas?

Thanks,
Lynn

P.S. Chappy won't stick. I give Bubbles four thumbs up

Dear Lynn,
That is a unique circumstance, for sure, and a set of stemware or a chaffing dish or a crock-pot will simply not work for this couple. I don’t know anything about them but if they are actually getting married at a track in their gear then I have some gift ideas for you. My first suggestion is a case of contact cleaner. Any self-respecting motocrosser has and can always use more contact cleaner. It’s got a thousand uses and you can never have enough. My next gift would be more contact cleaner. If you need clarification please see the comments for gift number one. The third gift could go either way. If you don’t think they’ll make it you could give them the number to a good divorce lawyer. Hey, lets be realists here; the number is still 50% that all those blissful couple will divide half their junk up after a while and go separate ways. If you think these two have a chance, then I would go with tickets to the Castillo Ranch Ride Day that Asterisk puts on every year. That sounds like the perfect honeymoon for these two.

Good luck and go Bubbles!
PING
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