Just wondering what you consider to be the criteria for the perfect Moto Wife? I have been trekking to the local MX parks with my hubby for several years now and have noticed that we wives all seem to have different ideas of what we should be doing. I have seen the “Trophy Wife” who struts around in her tank top, short shorts and matching flip-flops and stands back quietly observing while she polishes her nails. I have seen the “Psycho Wife” who stands at the fence line and screams at the husband as he goes by and then blames everyone else when her beer-gutted love doesn’t win. I have seen the “Wimpy Wife” who stands chewing her nails worrying that her man won’t make it back alive. I have seen the “Drill Sergeant Wife” that waits for the love of her life to return, only to point out all the mistakes he made and squeeze his testicles until he sings soprano. My personal list of must-dos as a Moto Wife is to always wish him good luck before he leaves the pits, stand at the fence and pay close attention to both him and the other riders so that if he asks “how did number 88 finish” I can give him the answer, have a bottle of water ready for him when he returns and be prepared to clean his helmet, boots or bike if needed while he rests in between motos. Am I doing enough, or are there other criteria I should shoot for?
Dear MXER Wife, Ellie Reed
Ping, Break out the toothbrush!
Sean DeLancett #69
Break out the toothbrush!
Dude, they make medication for that. Seriously. I can appreciate your attention to detail and I love your energy but you need to start looking at the bigger picture here, pal. There is no reason for you to be scouring away at your bike with a toothbrush. There are no Cavity Creeps in your linkage. Rinse your bike with the pressure washer, soap it down with Simple Green or another bike cleansing product, scrub with a regular brush, and rinse. It is a very simple process. The only way to get it cleaner is to bolt on new parts and that gets expensive. Try to focus more of your energy on riding and training. Remember: even a dirty bike looks good with a first-place trophy sitting on top of it.
Ok, I really can convert, and I realize this isn't a tech column. But how come the units of measurement on my bottle of Yamalube are different than in my Yamaha Manual, which is different from the markings on the motor of my Yamaha motorcycle? Don't you think that if, like the computer industry, the motorcycle industry made things more "user-friendly," it would be better for business? If I need an explanation of the difference between 'capacity' and 'volume,' I'll reference my file of "Secret World" articles from MXA. Just hoping to get some commentary on the discombobulation of the motorcycle industry.
Kent. Honolulu, Hawaii
Aloha, Brudda Kent,
Oh, brah, you no can figga out dakine fo da oil? Oh, sorry, every time I think about the islands I bust out my best pigeon. I definitely hear what you are saying, cuz. Jody Weisel’s infinite tech wisdom aside, things could stand to be simplified a bit. I mean, just when I got a sweet set of 8mm, 10mm and 12mm T-handles that could work on any bike, KTM cleans a bolt manufacturer out of 13mms and fastens their entire lineup with them. And this isn’t isolated to the moto world, either. For instance, why does every single cell-phone manufacturer have to have a different adapter for their charger? Couldn’t they all just agree on one fitting so that I wouldn’t wind up with 87 different phone chargers stuffed into a drawer? Why does there need to be DVD and Blu-ray Disks? Can’t every country agree which side of the road to drive on? Why does McDonald’s keep bringing back and then taking away the McGriddle sandwich? It’s delicious! Just put it on the menu and leave it. Kent, you aren’t the only one that has these problems in our sport so don’t worry…the Maui Wowie hasn’t clouded your ability to think. It’s just really hard to convert.
Got a question for Ping? Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.