Ask Ping

October 26, 2007 10:46am | by:

Hey Ping, hope you're healing up well and feeling better.  Two broken wrists has to suck, you can't even wipe your own arse! Glad I'm not your wife. I'm an old retired racer but still do a lot of riding both MX and trail riding.  At my level I find myself day dreaming around the track once in a while—okay, most of the time—thinking about all kinds of crazy stuff.
My question to you is, At your level do you ever find yourself daydreaming? Checking out some hot chick in the crowd or thinking about that big fat check you're gonna get if you win the thing? Were you day dreaming when you wadded?
       Just curious about what goes on in the minds of the upper level guys like you and RC, Bubba, Stefan, etc. Thanks Ping, Get Well Soon !
Jeff Blascoe. Pecatonica, IL

Dear Jeff,

Ping daydreams about this guy.

photo: Eric Johnson

Thanks for the letter. And, indeed, it is troublesome having two broken wings. I’m thinking I should call Mike LaRocco up and see what he’s doing after his double-wrist breaker last week. Maybe we could learn how to tap dance together. He’s probably too proud to let his wife help clean up after a two-sie so he just lays down some paper towels and scoots across the floor like a dog. Let go of your pride, Mike.
       I think the day-dreaming thing is pretty common. During a routine practice session I’ve found myself thinking about chores I have to do, song lyrics and even story ides in my head. If you look at how many guys get hurt practicing you can’t help but draw some correlation between the two. When you are racing you are much more focused. Sure, when you get back to the truck afterwards all you can think about is purse money, your trophy and points, but on the track you are thinking about what you are doing. That is the way it should be. I don’t know if RV and Stroupe were thinking about 22’s, slutty girls and their latest IPod downloads when they ejected but it wouldn’t surprise me. Those guys don’t make mistakes like that when they are racing.

P.S. - It’s funny you lumped me into the same category as RC and Everts because I was just thinking that I am only, like, fifteen championships away from being on their level. Sweet.

Dear Ping,
I try to keep up with all the pre-season hoopla, but whatever happened to Matt Walker? Thanks,

Dear Chris,
There are many different stories of what really happened to Matt Walker. The version I like to believe and re-tell as many times as possible is that he became angry at all the publicity that the Chuck Norris website was getting and he hunted down Walker: Texas Ranger to kill him. Of course, anyone that has seen the ferocity of one of Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks knows that Matt Walker was killed in the ensuing scuffle. After all, when Chuck Norris does a push-up he doesn’t push himself up…he pushes the world down. Still, it is a microcosm of Matt Walker’s entire life wrapped into one little anecdote. 

This is what Matt Walker was up to in 2002.

photo: Steve Bruhn

Another theory is that the concussion he got at Glen Helen has had severe repercussions and Matt now walks around downtown Atlanta wearing Kleenex boxes for shoes and talking to himself all day. I think he also has a pet monkey in that version, a shopping cart and a thick, luxurious beard.
       Yet another version is that Mr. Walker is teaching motocross schools in the Atlanta area. He has shown interest in racing supermoto but has yet to pursue it. He still talks mad trash on anyone that doubts him and if you ask him if he can still win a motocross national he will say, “Every day of the week and twice on Sunday.” He also has his hair done up with hair gel, “stunna” shades on and reeks of Givenchy cologne in that version. Take your pick.

I'm glad that you got normal people to do the 250F shootout, now if only you had a bigger boned test rider (which you know that 96.3% of America is obese right?). I'm available for the 450's. Just putting that out there.
Sausage Ankles

Dear Steve Matthes,
Still looking for a job, eh? I’m glad you enjoyed the last shootout. After having numerous people suggest using some “regular” test riders, we took their advice. Normally, I like to use professional riders to test bikes. They have earned that particular skill set and are much more articulate when it comes to explaining why a bike is good or bad. A novice rider’s description goes something like, “Um, I don’t like that one. It’s all, ’brah, ‘brah, ‘buwah! You know what I mean?” To which I would reply, no, I don’t know what you mean because you are a retard.
       Despite the layman’s lack of experience, John Q. Public seems to want the word of a regular Joe and so they will have it. As far as your idea of a plus-size rider goes, well, I think that is dumb also. But as long as Taco Bell keeps coming up with ways to turn the same five ingredients into new and exciting “cheesy” Mexican meals and Sbarro keeps doling out pizza slices the size of a Boeing 747 wing, we are going to tend to be on the Chunky Monkey side. So maybe I will need your help. I’ll keep an extra set of number fifteens in my garage just in case.
       Um, you do know Tim Ferry is looking for a practice mechanic for down in Florida, right? If you can get that restraining order lifted, might be good to get back to your roots, you know?

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