Ask Ping

October 19, 2007 1:11pm | by:

I just watched the Speed broadcast of the Freestone Lites, which I actually attended and am (as Ricky would say) "super-stoked" that the Nats are back in Texas and while RV was head and shoulders above everyone that day I was really impressed with the three rookies, especially Austin Stroupe.  That last turn pass he put on Hepler in the first moto was a rider beyond his years.  Anyhoo, I'm watching the second moto when his bike broke and Erin is interviewing him and he said about having to walk back to the pits that it was, and I quote, "kinda sucky."  What kind of motocrosser says "sucky"?  Can we get JLaw or Matt Walker (wherever the hell he is) to talk to this boy before he does anymore damage to his image?  Just a thought.
Chris Westall
LaGrange, TX

Stroupe's second moto in Texas was "kinda sucky."

photo: Simon Cudby

Dear Chris,
I think the Texas round was a big hit by most accounts and I’m glad you made it out to watch. Austin Stroupe is definitely looking like he’s the next guy in line to win some championships. Did you see the video Simon Cudby did with him at the Kawasaki track ( That kid is for real. Now, as far as his “Kinda sucky” comment goes, well, I think we should cut him some slack. He’s just a kid and I’ve heard some of these young factory riders/grade-school-dropouts say more idiotic things than kinda sucky. Besides, do you have any idea how ridiculous that Texas accent sounds to some people? Have you ever said “fixen to” or “Yall?” Do you have a ten gallon Stetson, cowboy boots, a beat-up Chevy truck and belt buckle that could double as a TV tray? I rest my case.  


Hey Ping,
Since your big on safety, maybe you can help with my recent problem.  A few weekends back, I missed a shift right out of the gate and ended up dead last, in the 450 class, on an uphill start.  Before I could say son of a ^%$#, something resembling a small boulder hit me right in the crotch.  I had forgotten how painful and nauseating that feels, had to pull off the track and just lay there.  Determined not to go through that agony again, I bought a cup.  That didn't work, it distracted me in the turns and I got a rash so bad I could barely walk.  What do the pros do outdoors?  Do they have extra padding sewed into the frontal area or something?  I need help here.

Ping's advice: Get the holeshot!

photo: Simon Cudby

Dear Mr. Johnson,
I’m afraid you’ve exposed a pretty serious weak spot in the motocross protection department. Anyone that rides on a regular basis has had his junk roosted on at some point and it doesn’t feel good. Do you realize the kind of America’s Funniest Home Videos montage we could put together if we had all these shots on film? If you have a suggestion you should contact a gear company and offer it up. Otherwise, the best you can do is try to get the holeshot and hope that your crotch-luggage doesn’t take too much of a beating during your next moto. Good luck.


Sorry to hear bout the crash. Guess this means you probally wont win the championship. So what i was wanting to know was if it is difficult to wipe your ass with two broken arms, and if you wish you would have gone to collage.

Dear Alan,

Yeah, thanks Alan, I guess you’re right; I probably won’t win the championship. Wow, what would I have done if you hadn’t written in and reminded me of something so incredibly obvious that I already know? You must be a frickin’ rocket scientist. Really, thanks for the help.

Ping looks like he's doing pretty well.

photo: Paul Buckley

Now let me answer your questions. First, cleaning your turd-cutter with two broken arms is indeed difficult. In fact, it wasn’t even possible for about two weeks. Until my right wrist had healed to a certain point I was forced to let the wifey get in there and mop things up. Sure, it’s humiliating but my only other option was to run a dirty undercarriage and that just wasn’t going to happen. Have you seen the bacon-strip skid marks you leave on your drawers when you don’t wipe after a proper deuce? To steal some of Austin Stroupe’s lingo, it’s “kinda sucky.”

Secondly, I do wish I had gone to college. Who wouldn’t want to spend a few years responsibility-free doing keg-stands at your frat house and chasing girls around campus? But I wouldn’t trade it for the path my life has taken. I’ve been around the globe racing bikes and seeing things that I would’ve only read about in college…And getting paid to do it. Maybe I’ll go back to school when I’m done riding motorcycles completely. You can be a fifty year old freshman, right? For now, I think I’m going to focus on winning more supermoto races.